Encouragement from Hymns

Wow...it's been a while since I've posted anything on this blog. For over a year now, I've been blogging over at andallisbright.wordpress.com. This blog is not really posted for the general public anymore. I've been thinking a lot about blogging over the last few months and realized that I think right now is a time for me to say less than I usually do. When I do blog, it's usually related to my credential program and the challenges and triumphs encountered there. However, blogging or writing in general helps me sort out my thoughts, so I might use this space just for my own benefit. If anyone else comes across this, I hope you are encouraged by what you see.

There have been several things lately that have caused me to battle with discouragement and discontentment in general. My uncle passed away pretty suddenly a few weeks ago. Relationships with friends are becoming harder to keep up when most friends are so far away. And then there's credentialing. Student teaching presents many challenges. Many of these kids have really rough home lives and it's heartbreaking. Additionally, many students are constantly disrespectful to every single adult in our class (myself, my master teacher, and an aide for a hard-of-hearing student). This has been quite the challenge as the constant management feels like a distraction for actual teaching. Also, it has revealed much of my own sin. I constantly fight impatience, annoyance, and general unkindness. I genuinely love my students, but there are times when my tone conveys otherwise. It's been pretty discouraging, but God is too kind to let me stay in my discouragement. He has used many people to encourage me, but one thing that has helped almost more than anything else is listening to hymns. If you know me, you know how much I love hymns. They are essentially doctrine put in beautiful words and put to music. How can you be discouraged by your circumstances when you're constantly pointed to Christ and the hope you have because of Him??

Here are some verses from hymns that have been especially encouraging:

1. All the way my Savior leads me,
   What have I to ask beside?
   Can I doubt His tender mercy,
   Who through life has been my Guide?
   Heav’nly peace, divinest comfort,
   Here by faith in Him to dwell!
   For I know, whate’er befall me,
   Jesus doeth all things well;
   For I know, whate’er befall me,
   Jesus doeth all things well.

1. -All the Way My Savior Leads Me, Franny Crosby

Every day the Lord Himself is near me,
With a special mercy for each hour;
All my cares He fain would bear and cheer me,
He whose name is Counsellor and Pow’r.
The protection of His child and treasure
Is a charge that on Himself He laid;
“As thy days, thy strength shall be in measure,“
This the pledge to me He made.

-Day by Day, Lina Sandell

1. I fear no foe, with Thee at hand to bless;
   Ills have no weight, and tears no bitterness;
   Where is thy sting, death? Where, grave, thy victory?
   I triumph still, abide with me.

-Abide with Me, Henry F. Lyte

My faith has found a resting place,

Not in device or creed.

I trust the ever living One,

His wounds for me shall plead.

I need no other argument,

I need no other plea,

It is enough that Jesus died,

And that He died for me. 

-My Faith Has Found a Resting Place, Eliza E. Hewitt

This is my Father’s world, O let me ne’er forget
That though the wrong seems oft so strong, God is the ruler yet.
This is my Father’s world: the battle is not done:
Jesus Who died shall be satisfied,
And earth and Heav’n be one.

-This Is My Father's World, Maltbie D. Babcock

O that day when freed from sinning,
I shall see Thy lovely face;
Clothed then in the blood washed linen
How I’ll sing Thy sovereign grace;
Come, my Lord, no longer tarry,
Take my ransomed soul away;
Send thine angels now to carry
Me to realms of endless day.

-Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing, Robert Robinson

I strongly recommend listening to hymns when you are discouraged. 

Hope you're having a good night! :)

Laurie

1. 
   

Be Still, My Soul

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.
Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

Such rich, beautiful truths in the midst of a stressful week. I can be still and rest in Him, because He is good and is in total control.

Thoughts at the End of the Semester

Colossians 3:23-24 - "Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve."

These verses have been especially challenging this past week. Since Thanksgiving, I have really felt the weight of all that comes between me and the end of the semester. It's been convicting to see all the time that I've wasted this semester. Yes, it's important to make memories and have fun, but leaving work until the end of the semester is never a good idea and that is exactly what I've done. I have a lot of work to do that I've known about for a long time, and now I'm paying the price for that. But it's good to learn discipline and to remember that my work is not done for my professors, future employers, or even my future students. My work is done for the Lord, and that challenges me to work even harder than I would otherwise. This too is an act of worship if I choose to make it so. So I haven't been able to do all that I have wanted to do lately, and I haven't gotten as much sleep as I would like to, but I have had a great last few days. I'm overtired and do not have time for a lot of breaks, but the joy of the Lord is constant. I know that I am pleasing Him with my hard work, and no amount of sleep or fun could possibly be better than that. I have learned that receiving energy from the Lord is even better than getting as much sleep as I'd like or drinking caffeine. The Lord's strength is more than sufficient for all of my needs. He is so faithful to help me even when I haven't been faithful to work hard for His glory this semester. He is so good and so kind, wouldn't you say?

Encouraging Quote

"I pray for you, that all your misgivings will be melted to thanksgivings. Remember that the shadow a thing casts often far exceeds the size of the thing itself (especially if the light be low on the horizon) and though some future fear may strut brave darkness as you approach, the thing itself will be but a speck when seen from beyond. Oh that He would restore us often with that 'aspect from beyond,' to see a thing as He sees it, to remember that He dealeth with us as with sons."
-Jim Elliot

Love this quote. Sometimes trials seem huge when actually they aren't, we just have the wrong perspective. If only we saw things as we ought, as God does, we would be able to truly "Consider it all joy...when [we] encounter various trials." I don't want to downplay hard times - because sometimes we do encounter intense pain and suffering. I just want to remember to keep it in perspective, and not see things as larger than they really are. Oh to be so mature, to see things as God sees them!

Sweet Truths

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved. In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace which He lavished on us. In all wisdom and insight He made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His kind intention which He purposed in Him with a view to an administration suitable to the fullness of the times, that is, the summing up of all things in Christ, things in the heavens and things on the earth. In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to His purpose who works all things after the counsel of His will, to the end that we who were the first to hope in Christ would be to the praise of His glory. In Him, you also, after listening to the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation - having also believed, you were sealed in Him with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is given as a pledge of our inheritance, with a view to the redemption of God's own possession, to the praise of His glory."

Ephesians 1:3-14

Beautiful words, amazing truths. We were reminded of all of these blessings in church this morning, and I thought that this was such a rich reminder that I would share it with you all.

Isn't it amazing - He chose us and adopted us?!

It's incredible. But true.

Thank You, Father.

Loving God

Hello! I am back once again. It's been forever since I've posted on this blog but I am finally back with something to say. It's something that's been on my mind a lot lately, and something that I've talked about with my discipler and a few other friends.

I have really been thinking about what it means and looks like to love God. One of my friends said something about her boyfriend that we hear a lot in Christian circles, but this time it really got me thinking. She said that he made her love God more. I wondered, "What does that really mean? What does it look like when a person makes me love God more?" I began to think of the people in my life who really have helped me love Him more, and that was a good starting point. I realized it was people like my parents, certain teachers or college professors, small group leaders, past and present disciplers, all of my college group leaders, certain friends, etc... I am blessed in that this list could keep going.

So then I thought, why do these people help me love God? What do they do that causes my love for God (and also, for others) to grow? Here are a few things that I came up with:

• They talk to me about loving God and their passion is so obvious that it spills over to me.
• They talk about God's love for us, which causes us to love Him more.
• They teach me more about God, or explain things I've never understood, and this increase in knowledge yields an increase in love.
• Their lives are consistently centered on and governed by Christ, and He is always at work in their lives.
• They teach me how my own life can be centered on Christ and governed by Him. 
• They encourage me to lean on Him when times are good and when times are bad.
• They challenge me to do hard things and trust Him with the results.

One verse that has come to mind repeatedly is when Jesus was talking to His disciples in John 14:15. It says "If you love Me, you will keep My commandments." I think this statement, though simple, is hard. This verse is what really helped me understand that if we love Him, we obey Him. We cannot truly claim to love Him if we are unwilling to obey to Him. We must submit to Him, letting His ways govern our life.

I know this may sound burdensome, wearying, or just plain hard. I don't want to share the gospel with my unsaved friends - what if they don't talk to me anymore? I don't want to be honest with my friend when she asks if what she did was okay (looking for affirmation), when the answer is "no" - how awkward! I don't want to die to myself and prefer others' needs above my own needs - I have homework that is due by midnight! I don't want to work to correct my thinking according to Philippians 4:8 - that's too hard! All of these things, or things similar to them, have crossed my mind before. It does feel like a lot of work. But that's when we remember that the focus is not on our works but on our hearts.

Again John helped me to understand more about this. I John 5:3 says, "For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments; and His commandments are not burdensome" (emphasis mine). When we truly love God, we will want to obey Him. When we love Him as we should, as He is worthy, we will want to do whatever it takes to obey, serve, and glorify Him. Personal cost won't matter, because love isn't thinking about ourselves, but of the object of our affection. To love God is to put Him first and decide that we are going to follow Him wherever He leads us and submit to Him along the way. We will desire to be obedient, so obeying won't feel like a burden. When are hearts are enamored by Him, we will strive to please Him, and will rejoice when we do so.

I do not want to sound legalistic in any way - we don't have to obey Him to earn salvation. We don't have to obey Him to make Him like us better. Jesus has already done all of the work necessary - to add to that is to say that His work was not enough, and it definitely was enough. I am just saying that we need to remember that our love and our faith are shown by our obedience to Him. Remember this song from Sunday school - "Obedience is the very best way to show that you believe..."? Or this old hymn "Trust and obey, for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey"? Belief/trust is coupled with obedience, because obeying shows our love.

So who is it that makes me love God more? I think that while everything I stated in the above list is true, I believe that the people who really encourage me to love Him are the ones who encourage me to obey Him, even when it's hard or seems pointless. It's the people who help me think rightly about a situation, based on what is true instead of what is assumed or imagined, knowing that God has called us to think true thoughts. It's the people who encourage me to pray heartily about a decision before making it. It's even the ones who may not realize they're helping me when they make comments that show me how prideful I am and how I need to change. These people are the ones who encourage me to love Him more. These are the people I want to stick around in my life. These are the friendships I want to grow in and continue to look for. This is the kind of person I eventually want to marry. And maybe most importantly, this is the kind of person I want to be.

Thoughts

As a 21year old Christian college single, I am bombarded with all sorts of relationship advice. I am surrounded by friends who are seriously dating, engaged, or married. My best friend from high school is now married to another good friend and they recently bought their first home. In the last week alone, two new Facebook engagements have popped up on my feed. Chapel and college group messages are often about dating and/or marriage, or at least touch on the subject.

Let me be clear: I am NOT complaining. In fact, I love that I know so many people who are in such an exciting stage of life. I do not envy my dating/engaged/married friends, but instead rejoice with them. It's a fun time in life right now where I can hang out with couples but I still have lots of single friends as well. But there is a danger in this stage of life, and that danger is thinking.

In our thought lives, it is easy to be idealistic about marriage. Let's be honest, as girls we have been at least thinking about our weddings since junior high or earlier. We wonder what man will be at the end of the aisle we'll walk down. We pretty much know what we're looking for. Tall, dark, and handsome, with just a hint of nerdiness (read: loves argyle) and a deep baritone singing voice? Yes please. Or one of my favorite lists: holy, hot, and humble. We're going to have a perfect marriage, working through every problem easily and comfortably. We'll also have a perfectly decorated and neat home. We'll be the ideal Christian American dream parents, too. Life will be perfect once I'm married.

That's what we think, anyway. Fast forward ten or fifteen years when we're married to a man and the romance isn't alive as it once was. Your kids repeatedly bicker with one another and your house is a mess more often than not. Three years after you've found the "perfect" church, you find out it's not after a messy split. We have preconceived notions about what married life will be like, and sometimes they couldn't be further from the truth. Yes, it may be great 90% of the time, but there will still be really hard days. I catch myself thinking "If only I was __________, life would be easier."

Why is this mindset harmful? Because it sets you up for disappointment. It sets you up to believe that you chose the wrong home, church, spouse, or whatever. But that isn't true! Life will always be full of both good times and bad. Even if you always made the right decision, life would still have trials. We need to stop thinking wrongly about what the future holds in order to have a good attitude both now and then.

At the end of the semester, my Bible study group went to the home of Austin Duncan. His wife Merrily talked to us about the dangers of wrongful thinking. She gave practical advice on how to think correctly so that we do not set ourselves up for disappointment. One thing she said was that most discontentment comes from wrongful thinking. It's true if you think about it - when I find myself discontent in my singleness, it's because I'm imagining the perfect life with the perfect man and how I'll be fulfilled when that comes along. But the truth is, I don't need a man to be fulfilled - a Man already has made it possible for me to be fulfilled. That man is Jesus Christ, and because of Him, I am whole and complete. 

Another thing Merrily said was that we need to train ourselves to think rightly. Train yourself. Put some work into it. She said we must pay attention to our thoughts. This is where some super practical advice came in. You know the verse Philippians 4:8?

via

Well, she said that she uses it as a sort of check list. Because sometimes as a woman married to a pastor whose ministry is pretty big and whose three young children keep her busy, she can be discontent if she allows certain thought to take form. So when she feels those thoughts arise, she thinks of the verse and asks herself, "Is what I'm thinking right now TRUE?" If the answer is no, then she stops there and makes herself instead think of what is true. If the answer is yes, she moves on to ask, "Is what I'm thinking right now HONORABLE?" and the list goes on. Only if it passes each little test with a yes does she allow thought to take form. If not, away it goes. She told us that our doctrine must determine our thinking, not the other way around. If our thoughts are not based on truths from the Bible, then they are wrong. Merrily admitted that there are even certain words she does not allow herself to think, such as "overwhelmed". If she allows herself to believe she's overwhelmed, then she'll become too stressed. But if her mind isn't even allowed to go there, she knows she can get through the tasks at hand. There are probably words that we all may use from time to time in our thoughts that aren't helpful. Friends, if a thought is hindering you rather than helping you, get rid of it! Replace your wrongful thoughts with ones that are based on what is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and worthy of praise. Don't let that verse become cliche. Let God use it to change you and mold you into the image of Christ.

This is something that the Lord has reminded me again and again that I must change. Contentment is hard! But if we don't learn it today, then it will only get harder and harder to fight for it. Ask God where you are thinking wrongly about things, and ask Him to help you change your thoughts and your attitude. You know He will help you if you only ask Him! The last tidbit of wisdom taken from Merrily is that we all have things that we consider to be more important than what God has given us right now. But we must remember that God knows what's best for us and His timing is impeccable. If I don't have something right now and I think I need it, then I am essentially thinking that it's more important than what God has already given me. This is the root of our discontentment. We must believe that God wants what's best for us and He'll give it to us at the right time. Until then though, we must take charge of our thoughts and only believe what is true.

Pursuing God in Singleness

[Warning: my "o" key decided to be temperamental a few days ago so if any words are missing one, don't be surprised.]

Last week sweet Erin announced that she would be involved in a mini series called Ablaze with a few other blogs. They talked about how to pursue Christ in singleness (Annie #1), while dating (Nicole, on breaking up and readjusting to the single life (Erin), and in marriage (Annie #2). It was a very good series and I appreciated the transparency each shared. While maintaining that they had not yet arrived, they gave practical advice and tips on pursuing Christ in the midst of whatever stage they're in. Today, they're providing a linkup for anyone to share how they're pursuing Christ in their own season of life.

I could go on and tell you all about the long saga that is my love life, but that is beside the point. What I can say is that I have learned through both success and failure how to pursue my relationship with God through each season described, excluding marriage. But right now, I'm single, so that's going to be my focus. 

There are many things I've learned through my singleness, especially in the past year. I have not always enjoyed being single, and it doesn't help that I'm about to be a senior at a small Christian college and my "ring by spring" is nowhere in sight. (Now, I never expected to graduate engaged, I'm just stating the stereotype. Many people do graduate engaged or married, so many of my friends are in that stage.) But lately, this summer especially, I have learned to not only accept my singleness, but to really embrace it and thank God for it. Here are some practical ways I've learned to pursue Christ in my singleness. They might all apply in every season, but work uniquely in each one.

1. Spend alone time with God. This is obvious, but it's central, and without it everything else would be pointless. As Christians, it's important to learn that our relationship with God is not just a part of our life. It IS our life. My wise-beyond-her-years friend in high school explained that life is like a wheel: God should be at the center of the wheel and everything else in our life should be a spoke that comes from our relationship with Him. Spending time in His Word, getting to know His character and growing in our knowledge of Him all yield the most important thing: loving Him. We also need to be spending time in prayer regularly. Talk to Him, ask Him to help you in certain things and pray for others. But remember to thank Him for His blessings and praise Him for who He is. 

2. Get involved in your church. Again, obvious, and important in every season. But while you're single, the truth is, you just have more time. Use it for furthering God's kingdom. I Corinthians 7:32-34a says, "But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided." It goes on to describe the same thing for women, too. Right now, as single people, we are free to be only concerned about the things of the Lord, but once we're married it will change. So get involved! Do you like kids? Teach Sunday school, become an Awana leader, or do VBS. Do you like to learn from older women and encourage younger women? Become involved in women's ministry, maybe a women's Bible study. Are you a behind the scenes person? See if the church office needs help folding a stuffing bulletins. Prepare the Communion elements whenever your church observes it. Volunteer to clean the church kitchen. Speaking of kitchens, if you have one, occasionally make meals for someone who's sick or just had a baby. Whatever your gifts may be, use them to serve God and serve your brothers and sisters in Christ.

3. Get wisdom. Talk to older ladies, married or unmarried. Learn from them. Learn how they pursued Christ while they were single. Get a realistic view on what it's like to be married. If you've read my blog before, you may know that I'm being discipled by an awesome lady named Meredith. We were connected through our church, but she lives on campus because her husband is a men's dorm RD. She has given me so much sound, practical advice, whether I'm single or dating someone.She's also shown me by example some of the struggles involved when you are married and have a two-year-old daughter (who is just the cutest thing!). She never complains or says anything bad about her husband or daughter. But I can see that my own romanticized view of marriage/parenting was skewed and not realistic. Yes, it is great and it's fun at times, but it's not always fun and games. Realizing that once you're married and start having kids life isn't just peachy and easy all the time has definitely helped me in my own contentment in this season of singleness.

4. Talk about it. Share with your peers your own thoughts on singleness. Share with them why you love it and why you dislike it, at times. Listen to their own likes and dislikes of it. I'm not saying to complain. Complaining never helps. But share with others what about singleness makes you struggle. This past semester I lived with my friend and her family, and it was great! There were times when I was struggling with contentment in singleness. When I'd share it with my friend, she would give me advice and share verses or quotes that had helped her when she'd struggled with the same thing. But make sure you reflect on why you enjoy it and share that too, because you never know who can be benefited by that.

5. Chase contentment. That word keeps popping up, but it's crucial. Be content. Remember who is in control? God, who is always good and kind. He has you in whatever season you're in because that's what's best for you right now. That sounds cliche, but don't let it be cliche, believe it to be true. He is wise and His ways are way better than ours, even if we don't think so at the time. Remember that God is the Giver of gifts - He has saved you from the power of sin, made you right with Him even though He's holy (!!), and given you eternal life. You probably have a roof over your head, food in your belly, clothes in your body. You may have great friends and family, a job, a computer (at least access to one), etc. He gives us so much yet we always want more. Learn contentment now, while single. Because when you're dating you're going to want marriage. When you're married, you're going to want kids. When your family outgrows your house, you'll want a bigger one. The list goes on. The thing is to be content at ALL times, because there's always something we want. We might as well learn it now.

6. Remember this verse. "For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord gives grace and glory, no good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly" Psalm 84:11. If you're walking with Him, and you don't have something, then it must not be good for you! Because if something is good for you, He wouldn't withhold it.

These are just a few things that have helped me while I'm single. I know I'm young and have a lot to learn, but I hope that by God's grace something I said may help someone else. I'm so thankful to the hosts and for their words and the chance to share my own two cents. 

To The Cross I Cling

"No day of my life has passed that has not proved me guilty in Your sight
The best I have to offer are these filthy rags and yet You love me.

All things in me call for my rejection; all things in You plead my acceptance.

I am guilty, but pardoned; by grace I've been set free.
I am ransomed through the blood You shed for me.
I was dead in my transgressions, but life you brought to me.
I am reconciled through mercy; to the cross I cling, to the cross I cling.

No more I am a slave to sin but bought with a price
Redemption that was purchased through the blessed cross that You bore for me.

All in things in me call for my rejection; all things in You plead my acceptance.

I am guilty, but pardoned; by grace I've been set free.
I am ransomed through the blood You shed for me.
I was dead in my transgressions, but life you brought to me
I am reconciled through mercy; to the cross I cling, to the cross I cling.

The cross is where I find death, is find where I find life, where mercy found me.
All things in me call for my rejection; all things in You plead my acceptance.

I am guilty, but pardoned; by grace I've been set free.
I am ransomed through the blood You shed for me.
I was dead in my transgressions, but life you brought to me
I am reconciled through mercy; to the cross I cling, to the cross I cling."

-To The Cross I Cling by The Village Church

This song has made an incredible impact in my life. Based off of a prayer from the Valley of Vision, "The Broken Heart", it succinctly states many truths Christians hold dear:
-Every day we prove we deserve death
-Nothing in us - even our best - is worthy of God
-He loves us anyway
-Everything inside of me shows that God should reject me
-Everything in Him accepts me, because Christ paid the debt on my behalf
-I AM guilty, but I've been pardoned anyway!
-His blood on the cross bought my freedom
-I was dead in my sin but He brought me life
-Through God's mercy I am now right with Him!

Because of all of these things that were accomplished by God at the cross, I cling (hold tight) to it. From the cross and the work completed on it, the price for my sins has been paid. Though God is a merciful, gracious, loving God, He is holy and just. His justice demands payments for my sins. But His mercy enables us to be reconciled -before, I was not right with God, but now we have a right relationship, for when He looks at me He sees the righteousness of Jesus Christ. This is why I cling to the cross - it reminds me what I once was, who God is, and who I now am because of the kindness of God. May we never forget these truths or allow them to become mundane, but rather cling to the cross.

(Find this song, listen to it, memorize it, get it stuck in your head.)

The Broken Heart {Valley of Vision}

"O Lord,
No day of my life has passed that has not
    proved me guilty in thy sight.
Prayers have been uttered from a prayerless heart;
Praise has been often praiseless sound;
My best services are filthy rags.
Blessed Jesus let me find  covert in thy appeasing wounds.
Though my sins rise to heaven thy merits soar above them;
Though unrighteousness weighs me down to hell,
    thy righteousness exalts me to thy throne.
All things in me call for my rejection,
All things in thee plead my acceptance.
I appeal from the throne of perfect justice
    to thy throne of boundless grace.
Grant me to hear thy voice assuring me:
    that by thy stripes I am healed,
    that thou wast bruised for my iniquities,
    that thou hast been made sin for me
    that I might be righteous in thee,
    that my grievous sins, my manifold sins
      are all forgiven,
    buried in the ocean of thy concealing blood.
I am guilty, but pardoned,
    lost, but saved,
    wandering, but found,
    sinning, but cleansed.
Give me perpetual broken-heartedness,
Keep me always clinging to thy cross,
Flood me every moment with descending grace,
Open to me the springs of divine knowledge,
    sparkling like crystal,
    flowing clear and unsullied
    through my wilderness of life."

My Hope is in The Lord

This song has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to be raised in a hymn singin' church. Though we don't only exclusively sing hymns, I knew what a hymnal was from a very young age and held one in my hands every Sunday. This was always one of my favorites. I love that it lays out the full gospel. It was written by Norman Clayton and once you recognize what true hope is, the lyrics become that much richer.

My hope is in the Lord

Who gave Himself for me

And paid the price of all my sin at Calvary.

[Chorus]

For me, He died

For me, He lives

And everlasting life and light He freely gives.

No merit of my own

His anger to suppress

My only hope is found in Jesus' righteousness.

And now for me He stands

Before the Father's throne

He shows His wounded hands and names me as His own.

His grace has planned it all

'Tis mine but to receive

And recognize His work of love and Christ believe.

Contentment

Contentment is something that everyone struggles with - if you don't, please tell me your secret! I know that I have struggled with contentment once or twice... Okay maybe a lot more than that. I am not writing this because I feel like I have achieved this. I am writing it because I know that it is something that I struggle with constantly and so other people probably do too. Before I get too into it, I want to define what it means to be contented, because I think it may be helpful to make sure we all are on the completely same page.

Contented: feeling or showing satisfaction with one's possessions, status, or situation (Merriam-Webster Dictionary App); satisfied with what God has given you right now, not needing, longing for, or expecting anything more or different (my own definition).

To give you an idea of some areas where people are discontent I thought I'd make a list. Not all of these things apply to me, but many of them do:

• Money. The idea that no matter how much money you have, it's not enough. 
• Status. Wanting more people to like you, craving admiration, needing everyone to see your value.
• Friends. Thinking that you don't have enough friends, or friends that do enough on weekends, or that your friendships are too shallow/deep/boring/joy-deprived, etc.
• Family. Knowing that all families are weird and have problems but wishing yours was less weird or had fewer problems (trust me - even the families that seem to be perfect, aren't)
• Job. It's a hard economy, I get that. But every job has its own set of pros and cons. Many people are underpaid. There aren't a lot of jobs out there for college grads - or anyone else, for that matter. 
• Relationships. "If I just had a boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse, all my problems wouldn't be so bad." Thinking you won't be lonely anymore and that you'll always something to do or someone to talk to, if only you just had someone.
• School. "School is boring." "Classes suck." "I have way too much homework and never get to sleep." "My GPA isn't what I want it to be."
• Possessions. Wanting a newer/better/faster everything. Wanting more. 
• Clothes. "I don't have anything to wear." "If only I had more options, getting dressed would be either."
• Appearance. The idea that you have to fix or hide every single flaw, never embracing the looks that God gave you. Focusing too much on the outside and not enough on the inside.
• Food. I'm in college and I know that cafeterias aren't exactly the place to get a gourmet, fully balanced fat-free vegan meal (is that combo possible?). Sometimes nothing tastes good. But God still provided a meal for you and it's important to be grateful.

These are just a few examples of things people are discontent in. Not all of these things are wrong across the board, for example, it's okay to look at your GPA and not be content because you know you can do way better if you just try. I'm not saying that it's always wrong to want a job, or know that you need to make a few more bucks to make ends meet this month, or knowing that your friends are doing more harm than good for your spiritual life, or whatever. But I think you can spot the difference if you try. Contentment is a heart thing.

"Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled, and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:11-3.

Paul, who wrote this book to the Philippians, sure knew how to be content. For those of you unfamiliar with this, it was a letter that he wrote to the church in Philippi while he was in jail. Wait - did I just say that? This guy, who says that he has "learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am", wrote that while he was in jail? While his basic human rights and freedoms we Americans fight so hard to keep were stripped from him? Huh. How then is this possible? Well, we see it in verse 13 - his contentment is possible because he "can do all things through [God] who strengthens" him. This verse is often taken out of context to mean that I can do whatever I put my mind to because God will make it possible. Maybe He does make seemingly impossible things happen, but that's not necessarily what this verse is promising. This verse says that those who look to Christ for the strength to be content can find it. Paul says that he was content both when he had a lot and when he had almost nothing. 

Some things to remember about contentment:

• Sometimes we are not supposed to be content. But the list is short - we are never to be content in our sin, in our knowledge of God, in our pursuit of holiness, and things like that. It's okay to always want to work harder to be a better employee/boss/friend/sibling/daughter/son/whatever.
• Wanting something doesn't necessarily mean you aren't content. It's okay that sometimes I see something and want it, even for a couple months, as long as I don't believe that I need it to be complete, or think that without it I am of less value. It's okay to want things in the future, like marriage, kids, and a home, but if that is your focus and you think you won't be happy or whole until you have those things, you have become discontent.
• Don't mistake contentment for an excuse to be lazy. It's not okay to be content with not trying something because you think God will work it out for you. You need to put full effort into things and be content with the results.
• Contentment is not based on circumstances. No matter how much you have, if you are discontented, you will always need more. That's why people pursue things so heartily sometimes, because they think that just a little bit more will be all they need. But are these people satisfied? No, because in their heart is discontentment. True contentment is like Paul's - content with everything and with nothing.
• The ability to be content comes from no other source than God Himself. Knowing who you are in Him, knowing what He's done for you on the cross and what He does for you every day of your life, and knowing that He is in control and has a plan helps. But when you still struggle, all you have to do is ask. "...You do not have because you do not ask." James 3:2. If you ask for help, God will give it to you!
• When you struggle being content, count your blessings. Seriously. Think about every single thing that you have been blessed with - I know that once I start, it's hard to stop! Then remember who has given you those things and thank Him for it.

Here are some quotes I found related to this subject:

• "Until we truly learn that God is sovereign, ordering everything for His own holy purposes and the ultimate good of those who love Him, we can’t help but be discontent. That’s because in taking on the responsibility of ordering our lives, we will be frustrated in repeatedly discovering that we can’t control everything. Everything already is under control, however, by Someone far greater than you or I." John MacArthur (found here - read the whole thing if you get a chance!)
• "Teach me to treat all that comes to me with peace of soul and firm conviction that your will governs all." Elisabeth Elliot
• "Don't let comparison steal your joy."
• "Start each day with a grateful heart."
• "Gratitude turns what we have into enough."
• "Someone else is happy with less than what you have."

He's Too Good for Me

"He's too good for me." I think this is something that all of us girls have all thought or vocalized at some point in our lives. I know that this is something that I have definitely thought before. When I was younger I based it on more shallow things like looks, social status, athleticism, etc. When I got to college and learned what's really valuable in relationships, it was based on godliness. There's one guy in particular that stands out as the one that I always thought was too good for me, because he's just the perfect guy (except not really) and I'm so not perfect. I was reading through my journal today because I finished it (!!!) and wanted to read everything I've learned throughout my time journaling. I got to a page that mentioned this very subject and stopped because I know it's something that many people struggle with so I decided to write about it.

This past school year has been an interesting one in the relationship department. I was single and not really looking but still kind of had my eyes on someone. He just seemed to be the best guy on campus. Definitely too good for me. Well, I always knew this thinking was flawed, but it wasn't until I talked to Meredith about it did I realize how and why it was. Thankfully, that was one of those conversations we had that I immediately went back to my room and journaled about, because it sure did open my eyes to my wrong thinking, so I'm glad to have a written record of it.

The first reason this mindset is flawed: it doesn't take the Gospel into account. As believers, we are taught that none of us is good. Rom 3:10 says "as it is written, THERE IS NONE RIGHTEOUS, NOT EVEN ONE" and Rom 3:23 says "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." None of us, left to our own devices, is good or does good. We can't because of our sin nature that has been with us our entire lives. Jesus Christ had to come die on the cross to pay the penalty for our sin, freeing us from the power of sin and reconciling us to the holy God of the universe. Our righteousness is not our own - it's Christ's, because He lived a sinless life while He was on earth. "He's too good for me" is a lie because no one is good at all. The statement is fundamentally flawed.

The second reason this mindset is flawed: sanctification is not our own work. It's important to remember that our sanctification (becoming pure) is from God. We can't sanctify ourselves, rather it is grace God does in our lives. Yes, we read God's word to know and love Him more, and we obey His commandments, but He is the one who grows us in Christlikeness. We don't make ourselves more godly. God makes us godly. And if it's a work that God does in our lives, who are we to compare our godliness with someone else's and say that they're too good for us? Isn't that kind of like saying that God hasn't done enough in my life to allow compatibility or whatever with so-and-so? Knowing that God is in charge of our sanctification takes so much pressure off - we just obey Him and He works in our hearts to change us and make us more like Him. Believing someone is too good for us because they're more godly or more sanctified than we are is wrong because it assumes we make ourselves godly/sanctified.

The third reason this mindset is flawed: it sets everyone up for failure. Say Girl likes Guy and thinks he's just perfect. Well, when she finds out that Guy squeezes his toothpaste from the middle of the tube (almost unforgivable) and that he struggles with his temper, she's going to be majorly bummed. It stinks for Guy too, because he has this standard of perfection that he's supposed to meet. Because he's not perfect, he'll eventually be seen as less valuable to Girl, which is a bummer for him. Also, if Guy knew that Girl thought so highly of him, he might become prideful, forgetting that sanctification is God's work in his life, not his own. Everyone loses in this situation.

The fourth reason this mindset is flawed: it doesn't take into account God's sovereignty. God is in control over every aspect of our lives, yes? Psalm 103:19 says "The Lord has established His throne in the heavens, and His sovereignty rules over all." The word used for "all" here means..."all" (ok, sorry...Christian college joke). I don't really want to get into the subject of is there just one person God has for us, or could we, by His grace, really spend the rest of our lives with just anyone who fits the requirements. But if God does have someone specific for us, thinking that someone is too good limits God (in our minds). If there's really someone that God has chosen for you or me, it doesn't matter how "good" or godly or whatever he is or I am, it'll happen. Also, if we think one person is too good for us, and then end up dating/marrying another person, is that saying that this guy isn't as good as the other one? It's all so complicated. We must rest in God's sovereignty over this. It's God's plan, God's man, and God's timing.

If not based on godliness, "He's too good for me" might be based on giftedness. It was for me. I just thought that this guy was so gifted, and knew he was faithfully using his gift at church, and thought that made him better than me. But Meredith reminded me that first of all, I've been gifted too and was also using my gifts to serve in the church. So that thinking was wrong. But even more than that, it was a wrong way to think because just as our sanctification comes from God, so do our gifts. That's why they're called GIFTS - they've been GIVEN to us. Just because two people have different gifts and use them differently doesn't mean that one is more gifted than the other - we all use our gifts differently because we have different gifts. She reminded me the reason for our gifts - to serve, love, and obey God. Our spiritual gifts are for the edification of the church, but ultimately they're about God and His glory. They aren't about us.

So friends, I thought I'd just share this with you in case you think this way. Never view another person as too good for you, because we (believers) are all sinners saved by grace. It's not beneficial for you personally to think this way. But even more importantly, it shows a misunderstanding of God and His work in our lives. If you really believe that everything is about Him, you have to allow Him to permeate every area of your life, including this one.

Hello! In case anyone was wondering, I didn't abandon this blog! I know that it's been over a month since I've written a post (aside from quotes I'd found). There have been several ideas swirling around in my head about things I could write, but none have truly taken form quite yet. I will be back soon with a post. And because it's summer, I plan to be able to write a lot. Though I go to a Christian college with Bible classes, 3 chapels a week, and a solid Bible-teaching church during the school year, it seems like sometimes I learn even more over the summer. Some of the times of my most intense learning have been in lazy summer days, so I hope to write a lot about all the things that the Lord teaches me.

"Our vision is so limited we can hardly imagine a love that does not show itself in protection from suffering. The love of God is of a different nature altogether. It does not hate tragedy. It never denies reality. It stands in the very teeth of suffering. The love of God did not protect His own Son. That was the proof of His love-that He gave that Son, that He let Him go to Calvary’s cross, though ‘legions of angels’ might have rescued Him. He will not necessarily protect us-not from anything it takes to make us like His Son. A lot of hammering and chiseling and purifying by fire will have to go into the process." Elisabeth Elliot

Quotes

"It is mercy that our lives are not left for us to plan, but that our Father chooses for us; else might we sometimes turn away from our best blessings, and put from us the choicest loveliest gifts of His providence." Susannah Spurgeon


"As long as you are proud you cannot know God. A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down you cannot see something that is above you." CS Lewis


"There is more mercy in Christ than sin in us." Richard Sibbes


"When you don't know what to do next, just do the thing in front of you." Elisabeth Elliot


"Hold everything in your hands lightly, otherwise it hurts when God pries your fingers open." Corrie ten Boom

Waiting (Again)

Okay, I'm going to be pretty honest here. I try to balance not airing all my dirty laundry with being honest about what I'm struggling through because I learn a lot through struggling. But this here is pretty personal. Lately, I've struggled massively with discontentment. I know that God has a plan for my life but I don't want to wait for His timing. I think (wrongly) that I really know better what I need than He does, and that I should get what I think I deserve when I want it. Trust me, I know what I truly deserve (hell) and I DON'T want that. But somehow I always think I deserve more than what I've been given and that God is unkind to withhold what I want from me. My journal is full of all that has been going through my mind lately, and it's not pretty - I am really struggling with being content. But I just allow myself to passively struggle rather than fight this sin.

But God is so good. He is so kind. He takes our struggles and helps us fight our sin. It's not something that we can't help. Yes, fighting sin is hard, but it is a battle and it is something we must be active about, not passive. I had a really good conversation with Courtney tonight and she shared a couple really good quotes with me and I was also reminded of one I found last summer. It's probably somewhere posted on my blog, but I think it is worth a rewrite, so here is one of the ones she shared and then the other is from my blog.

"One of God's most effective ways to grow our faith is to stretch it. We don't learn to trust God by reading a book or listening to a great sermon. We learn to trust God by living out a real-life adventure with God and discovering for ourselves that He is worthy." Glynnis Whitwer

"Faith endures the disappointment, the hardships, and the heartaches of life by recognizing that all comes from the hand of Him who is too wise to err and too loving to be unkind. So long as we are occupied with any other object than God Himself, there will be neither rest for the heart, nor peace for the mind." AW Pink

The reason that I've been discontent with my life lately is because I've been occupied with things (especially ones I don't have), rather than God Himself. If I truly focused on Him and was content in Him and all that He is and all that He's given for me and done for me, then I wouldn't have a hard time. But instead, I try to find fulfillment in things other than God, and it's just never going to be enough. The only true satisfaction comes from Him, not from my circumstances or my possessions.  Here are two more quotes that have been helpful to me other times when I've struggled with waiting on God and His timing. (I think that waiting and discontentment are often linked because many times what we're discontent about is something that we know will probably come in the future, and we are just sick of waiting for it. Impatience and discontentment are related deep at the root, I believe.)

"...the deepest spiritual lessons are not learned by His letting us have our way in the end, but by His making us wait, bearing with us in love and patience until we are able to honestly pray what He taught His disciples to pray: Thy will be done." Elisabeth Elliot

 "Waiting on God isn't about the suspension of meaning and purpose. It's part of the meaning and purpose that God has brought into my life. Waiting on God isn't to be viewed as an obstruction in the way of the plan. Waiting is an essential part of the plan. For the child of God, waiting isn't simply about what I'll receive at the end of my wait. No, waiting is much more purposeful, efficient, and practical than that. Waiting is fundamentally about what I'll become as I wait. God is using the wait to do in and through me exactly what He's promised. Through the wait He's changing me. By means of the wait He's altering the fabric of my thoughts and desires. Through the wait He's causing me to see and experience new things about Him and His kingdom. And all of this sharpens me, enabling me to be a more useful tool in His redemptive hands." Paul Tripp

 I really need to trust Him, because He is worthy of my trust, and He is so much wiser than I am! I see over and over how trustworthy He is, but still I fail to trust Him. I cannot wait for the day that faith becomes sight, because faith is hard!!

Pain and Suffering

Those words composing the title of this post have been a theme in my blog this school year, mainly last semester. It's been a rough school year, but God has used my pain (remember: He doesn't waste pain) to teach me so much. Once again, I'm writing with a heavy heart. Over the weekend (which was great, otherwise) I received some awful news. Someone who was very special to my little sister was in a car accident and he didn't make it. I'd never met him, so this post isn't about me and my pain, but about her.

My heart aches for my little sister, whom I love so much and want to protect from anything even slightly painful. I've struggled a little bit, wishing I could shield her from heartache like this, but also knowing that God had ordained both the moment Clark was born and also the moment he would die and He doesn't make mistakes. I struggle to find the balance between wanting my sister to never feel any pain and knowing that pain is something God uses to draw us closer to Him and show us how much we need Him. Everyone needs to be reminded of those things, and pain is a tool He uses for that end. So I know He will use her pain to grow her, but I still hate the thought of her hurting. Especially because we currently like 3000 miles away from each other and I can't even give her a hug.

If you think of her, please be praying for her as she faces tough days ahead. Also, pray for the Noonan family, who are mourning the loss of their 20-year-old son and brother. Thanks friends.

Something to Think About

Question from college group yesterday: Are you conforming to the Christian life, or to Christ Himself? More to come later!

Gentleness/Meekness

Came across this definition/explanation of "gentle" while doing homework for one of my classes. I can't seem to find the source, but it is either from Alfred Humphreys or W. E. Vine, as far as I can tell. (For those of you who are unfamiliar with it, the number is one given from the Strong's Concordance.) It's long but it's worth the read.

gentle (Greek#4239 praus) - "meek, gentle, mild"; it is an adornment of the Christian profession, I Pet. 3:4. "It is an inwrought grace of the soul, and the exercises of it are first and chiefly towards God. It is that temper of spirit in which we accept His dealings with us as good, and therefore without disputing and resisting. It is closely linked to the word for humility. It is the humble heart which is also the meek, and which, as such, does not fight against God and more or less struggle and contend with Him. This meekness, however, being first of all a meekness before God, is also such in the face of men, even of evil men, out of a sense that these, with the insults and injuries which they may inflict, are permitted and employed by Him for the chastening and purifying of His elect. In Gal. 5:23 it is associated with 'self-control'...this word (gentle/meek) describes a condition of mind and heart...the meekness manifested by the Lord and commended to the believer is the fruit of power. The common assumption is that when a man is meek it is because he cannot help himself; but the Lord was 'meek' because He had the infinite resources of God at His command. Described negatively, meekness is the opposite to self-assertiveness and self-interest; is is equanimity of spirit that is neither elated nor cast down, simply because it is not occupied with self at all."

There are so many things I could say about this, but I think that this pretty much says it all.