A Letter to My Girls

To all the ladies in my life,

Yesterday was Valentine's Day, and many of you are single like I am. This can often be a difficult day for "all the single ladies". It feels even worse sometimes if you've had a valentine before, but you don't this year. Trust me, I know. Today a very insightful friend pointed out that for many of us girls, we plan these massive girls nights to have a blast and prove our independence and that we don't need a guy in our life, but often it's really a pity party on the inside. But I just want you all to remember some very important things.

God is in control. No matter what is going on in your life, He does have a plan (Psalm 37:23). If you daily seek His face and ask for His will and are obedient, you're exactly where you need to be. If that means you're in a relationship with a great guy, that is amazing! If it means that you're single right now, or experiencing a recent breakup, or heartache of feelings not reciprocated, that is amazing too. Even though it may sting a bit right now, God truly does have a plan. I'm not going to sit here and tell you that every single one of you who desires a relationship or marriage will have it someday. I can't promise that. But God has a plan for each of our lives and He will fulfill that plan. If you're alive and breathing and if you have salvation, you already have more than you deserve. God pours out blessings on His people. He gives us what we need (Philippians 4:19).

As cliche as these verses can sound, we find incredible truths in them (don't let the Bible become cliche, friends): "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths" (Proverbs 3:5-6). Trust God. Don't lean on your understanding (but on His). Acknowledge Him in all that you do. HE will direct your path. Know that He is God and that He has all the power in the world and that His will is your sanctification, and it's for your best. Remember that His ways are not our ways - they are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9). We will not always understand His ways, but He's the omniscient one. He knows what He's doing. Lean on that, not your own understanding of how things "should" be.

Friday a sweet friend reminded me of this truth - God withholds no good things from those who walk uprightly (Psalm 84:11). If God withholds no good thing from us when we obey Him, and we're obeying Him, what we don't have really isn't good for us at the present time. This isn't to say that it won't be good for us to have in the future. It means that right now we are better off without the things we don't have, or else we'd have them. This may mean that I (or you, or someone else) never get the things we want from this life - our own family, security, a job we love, whatever else. But if God is withholding it, we really are better off that way. And if it's His will, one day you will have a wonderful man to celebrate every Valentine's Day with.

But for now - soak up your time as a single lady! Enjoy your friends, especially your girlfriends. Don't sweat the small things. Choose your battles. Love people as much as you can. Get involved in ministry. Get a discipler. Disciple someone else. Be an encourager to those around you. Try something new. Forgive fully every chance you get. Take adventures. Do crazy things. Be part of a small group or Bible study. Make new foods. Meet new people. Hang out with kids. Study the Bible intensely. Work hard in school. Work hard at your job. Do everything to the best of your ability. Enjoy the time and the freedom you have that may not be there when you're in a relationship.

Take Time to Be Holy

Take time to be holy. Speak oft with thy Lord;

Abide in Him always, and feed on His Word.

Make friends with God's children; help those who are weak,

Forgetting in nothing, His blessing to seek.

Take time to be holy. The world rushes on;

Spend much time in secret, with Jesus alone.

By looking to Jesus, like Him thou shalt be;

Thy friends in thy conduct, His likeness shall see.

Take time to be holy. Let Him be thy Guide;

And run not before Him, whatever betide.

In joy or in sorrow, still follow thy Lord,

And, looking to Jesus, still trust in His word.

Take time to be holy, be calm in thy soul;

Each tho't and each motive, beneath His control.

Thus led by the Spirit, to fountains of love,

Thou soon shalt be fitted, for service above.

The other day, I was reading one of my books for class (Living by the Book by Howard Hendricks and William Hendricks), and something the author said struck a chord. I would love to quote an entire paragraph from the book but am not sure about the legality of that. So instead, I'll sum it up for you. In a chapter on the importance and the how-to of meditative Bible reading, he mentioned this hymn. Meditation takes time, but time is exactly what we need. We need to spend time reflecting on the Word in order to know, love, and imitate God more.

I remember singing this in church growing up. Over and over, I am so thankful to have gone to a hymn-singing church for my whole life. This is exactly the kind of song I need to sing over and over to remind myself of its truths. The cool thing is that this song has so many practical applications to the main message. It gives you plenty of ways to "take time to be holy" if you don't know where to begin. Meditation on the Word of God is just one way to do this. Praying to Him, abiding in Him, feeding on His Word, befriending other believers, helping people who are weak, remembering what He's done for you (in light of who He is and who you are), following Him in joy and in sorrow....these are all ways to be holy.

An important thing to keep in check is your motivation. Holiness, while essential and important, is not the main thing. The main thing is knowing and loving God more so that you can glorify Him better. Holiness comes from that, and it must be practiced. But you must be careful to not pursue holiness only for the sake of being holy or for the sake of appearing to be holy to others. You must learn to be holy because it's what God requires - "Because it is written, 'Be holy, for I am holy.'" I Peter 1:16, and obedience is what pleases Him.