Be Still, My Soul

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.
Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

Such rich, beautiful truths in the midst of a stressful week. I can be still and rest in Him, because He is good and is in total control.

Thoughts at the End of the Semester

Colossians 3:23-24 - "Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve."

These verses have been especially challenging this past week. Since Thanksgiving, I have really felt the weight of all that comes between me and the end of the semester. It's been convicting to see all the time that I've wasted this semester. Yes, it's important to make memories and have fun, but leaving work until the end of the semester is never a good idea and that is exactly what I've done. I have a lot of work to do that I've known about for a long time, and now I'm paying the price for that. But it's good to learn discipline and to remember that my work is not done for my professors, future employers, or even my future students. My work is done for the Lord, and that challenges me to work even harder than I would otherwise. This too is an act of worship if I choose to make it so. So I haven't been able to do all that I have wanted to do lately, and I haven't gotten as much sleep as I would like to, but I have had a great last few days. I'm overtired and do not have time for a lot of breaks, but the joy of the Lord is constant. I know that I am pleasing Him with my hard work, and no amount of sleep or fun could possibly be better than that. I have learned that receiving energy from the Lord is even better than getting as much sleep as I'd like or drinking caffeine. The Lord's strength is more than sufficient for all of my needs. He is so faithful to help me even when I haven't been faithful to work hard for His glory this semester. He is so good and so kind, wouldn't you say?

Encouraging Quote

"I pray for you, that all your misgivings will be melted to thanksgivings. Remember that the shadow a thing casts often far exceeds the size of the thing itself (especially if the light be low on the horizon) and though some future fear may strut brave darkness as you approach, the thing itself will be but a speck when seen from beyond. Oh that He would restore us often with that 'aspect from beyond,' to see a thing as He sees it, to remember that He dealeth with us as with sons."
-Jim Elliot

Love this quote. Sometimes trials seem huge when actually they aren't, we just have the wrong perspective. If only we saw things as we ought, as God does, we would be able to truly "Consider it all joy...when [we] encounter various trials." I don't want to downplay hard times - because sometimes we do encounter intense pain and suffering. I just want to remember to keep it in perspective, and not see things as larger than they really are. Oh to be so mature, to see things as God sees them!

Sweet Truths

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved. In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace which He lavished on us. In all wisdom and insight He made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His kind intention which He purposed in Him with a view to an administration suitable to the fullness of the times, that is, the summing up of all things in Christ, things in the heavens and things on the earth. In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to His purpose who works all things after the counsel of His will, to the end that we who were the first to hope in Christ would be to the praise of His glory. In Him, you also, after listening to the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation - having also believed, you were sealed in Him with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is given as a pledge of our inheritance, with a view to the redemption of God's own possession, to the praise of His glory."

Ephesians 1:3-14

Beautiful words, amazing truths. We were reminded of all of these blessings in church this morning, and I thought that this was such a rich reminder that I would share it with you all.

Isn't it amazing - He chose us and adopted us?!

It's incredible. But true.

Thank You, Father.

Loving God

Hello! I am back once again. It's been forever since I've posted on this blog but I am finally back with something to say. It's something that's been on my mind a lot lately, and something that I've talked about with my discipler and a few other friends.

I have really been thinking about what it means and looks like to love God. One of my friends said something about her boyfriend that we hear a lot in Christian circles, but this time it really got me thinking. She said that he made her love God more. I wondered, "What does that really mean? What does it look like when a person makes me love God more?" I began to think of the people in my life who really have helped me love Him more, and that was a good starting point. I realized it was people like my parents, certain teachers or college professors, small group leaders, past and present disciplers, all of my college group leaders, certain friends, etc... I am blessed in that this list could keep going.

So then I thought, why do these people help me love God? What do they do that causes my love for God (and also, for others) to grow? Here are a few things that I came up with:

• They talk to me about loving God and their passion is so obvious that it spills over to me.
• They talk about God's love for us, which causes us to love Him more.
• They teach me more about God, or explain things I've never understood, and this increase in knowledge yields an increase in love.
• Their lives are consistently centered on and governed by Christ, and He is always at work in their lives.
• They teach me how my own life can be centered on Christ and governed by Him. 
• They encourage me to lean on Him when times are good and when times are bad.
• They challenge me to do hard things and trust Him with the results.

One verse that has come to mind repeatedly is when Jesus was talking to His disciples in John 14:15. It says "If you love Me, you will keep My commandments." I think this statement, though simple, is hard. This verse is what really helped me understand that if we love Him, we obey Him. We cannot truly claim to love Him if we are unwilling to obey to Him. We must submit to Him, letting His ways govern our life.

I know this may sound burdensome, wearying, or just plain hard. I don't want to share the gospel with my unsaved friends - what if they don't talk to me anymore? I don't want to be honest with my friend when she asks if what she did was okay (looking for affirmation), when the answer is "no" - how awkward! I don't want to die to myself and prefer others' needs above my own needs - I have homework that is due by midnight! I don't want to work to correct my thinking according to Philippians 4:8 - that's too hard! All of these things, or things similar to them, have crossed my mind before. It does feel like a lot of work. But that's when we remember that the focus is not on our works but on our hearts.

Again John helped me to understand more about this. I John 5:3 says, "For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments; and His commandments are not burdensome" (emphasis mine). When we truly love God, we will want to obey Him. When we love Him as we should, as He is worthy, we will want to do whatever it takes to obey, serve, and glorify Him. Personal cost won't matter, because love isn't thinking about ourselves, but of the object of our affection. To love God is to put Him first and decide that we are going to follow Him wherever He leads us and submit to Him along the way. We will desire to be obedient, so obeying won't feel like a burden. When are hearts are enamored by Him, we will strive to please Him, and will rejoice when we do so.

I do not want to sound legalistic in any way - we don't have to obey Him to earn salvation. We don't have to obey Him to make Him like us better. Jesus has already done all of the work necessary - to add to that is to say that His work was not enough, and it definitely was enough. I am just saying that we need to remember that our love and our faith are shown by our obedience to Him. Remember this song from Sunday school - "Obedience is the very best way to show that you believe..."? Or this old hymn "Trust and obey, for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey"? Belief/trust is coupled with obedience, because obeying shows our love.

So who is it that makes me love God more? I think that while everything I stated in the above list is true, I believe that the people who really encourage me to love Him are the ones who encourage me to obey Him, even when it's hard or seems pointless. It's the people who help me think rightly about a situation, based on what is true instead of what is assumed or imagined, knowing that God has called us to think true thoughts. It's the people who encourage me to pray heartily about a decision before making it. It's even the ones who may not realize they're helping me when they make comments that show me how prideful I am and how I need to change. These people are the ones who encourage me to love Him more. These are the people I want to stick around in my life. These are the friendships I want to grow in and continue to look for. This is the kind of person I eventually want to marry. And maybe most importantly, this is the kind of person I want to be.

Thoughts

As a 21year old Christian college single, I am bombarded with all sorts of relationship advice. I am surrounded by friends who are seriously dating, engaged, or married. My best friend from high school is now married to another good friend and they recently bought their first home. In the last week alone, two new Facebook engagements have popped up on my feed. Chapel and college group messages are often about dating and/or marriage, or at least touch on the subject.

Let me be clear: I am NOT complaining. In fact, I love that I know so many people who are in such an exciting stage of life. I do not envy my dating/engaged/married friends, but instead rejoice with them. It's a fun time in life right now where I can hang out with couples but I still have lots of single friends as well. But there is a danger in this stage of life, and that danger is thinking.

In our thought lives, it is easy to be idealistic about marriage. Let's be honest, as girls we have been at least thinking about our weddings since junior high or earlier. We wonder what man will be at the end of the aisle we'll walk down. We pretty much know what we're looking for. Tall, dark, and handsome, with just a hint of nerdiness (read: loves argyle) and a deep baritone singing voice? Yes please. Or one of my favorite lists: holy, hot, and humble. We're going to have a perfect marriage, working through every problem easily and comfortably. We'll also have a perfectly decorated and neat home. We'll be the ideal Christian American dream parents, too. Life will be perfect once I'm married.

That's what we think, anyway. Fast forward ten or fifteen years when we're married to a man and the romance isn't alive as it once was. Your kids repeatedly bicker with one another and your house is a mess more often than not. Three years after you've found the "perfect" church, you find out it's not after a messy split. We have preconceived notions about what married life will be like, and sometimes they couldn't be further from the truth. Yes, it may be great 90% of the time, but there will still be really hard days. I catch myself thinking "If only I was __________, life would be easier."

Why is this mindset harmful? Because it sets you up for disappointment. It sets you up to believe that you chose the wrong home, church, spouse, or whatever. But that isn't true! Life will always be full of both good times and bad. Even if you always made the right decision, life would still have trials. We need to stop thinking wrongly about what the future holds in order to have a good attitude both now and then.

At the end of the semester, my Bible study group went to the home of Austin Duncan. His wife Merrily talked to us about the dangers of wrongful thinking. She gave practical advice on how to think correctly so that we do not set ourselves up for disappointment. One thing she said was that most discontentment comes from wrongful thinking. It's true if you think about it - when I find myself discontent in my singleness, it's because I'm imagining the perfect life with the perfect man and how I'll be fulfilled when that comes along. But the truth is, I don't need a man to be fulfilled - a Man already has made it possible for me to be fulfilled. That man is Jesus Christ, and because of Him, I am whole and complete. 

Another thing Merrily said was that we need to train ourselves to think rightly. Train yourself. Put some work into it. She said we must pay attention to our thoughts. This is where some super practical advice came in. You know the verse Philippians 4:8?

via

Well, she said that she uses it as a sort of check list. Because sometimes as a woman married to a pastor whose ministry is pretty big and whose three young children keep her busy, she can be discontent if she allows certain thought to take form. So when she feels those thoughts arise, she thinks of the verse and asks herself, "Is what I'm thinking right now TRUE?" If the answer is no, then she stops there and makes herself instead think of what is true. If the answer is yes, she moves on to ask, "Is what I'm thinking right now HONORABLE?" and the list goes on. Only if it passes each little test with a yes does she allow thought to take form. If not, away it goes. She told us that our doctrine must determine our thinking, not the other way around. If our thoughts are not based on truths from the Bible, then they are wrong. Merrily admitted that there are even certain words she does not allow herself to think, such as "overwhelmed". If she allows herself to believe she's overwhelmed, then she'll become too stressed. But if her mind isn't even allowed to go there, she knows she can get through the tasks at hand. There are probably words that we all may use from time to time in our thoughts that aren't helpful. Friends, if a thought is hindering you rather than helping you, get rid of it! Replace your wrongful thoughts with ones that are based on what is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and worthy of praise. Don't let that verse become cliche. Let God use it to change you and mold you into the image of Christ.

This is something that the Lord has reminded me again and again that I must change. Contentment is hard! But if we don't learn it today, then it will only get harder and harder to fight for it. Ask God where you are thinking wrongly about things, and ask Him to help you change your thoughts and your attitude. You know He will help you if you only ask Him! The last tidbit of wisdom taken from Merrily is that we all have things that we consider to be more important than what God has given us right now. But we must remember that God knows what's best for us and His timing is impeccable. If I don't have something right now and I think I need it, then I am essentially thinking that it's more important than what God has already given me. This is the root of our discontentment. We must believe that God wants what's best for us and He'll give it to us at the right time. Until then though, we must take charge of our thoughts and only believe what is true.

Pursuing God in Singleness

[Warning: my "o" key decided to be temperamental a few days ago so if any words are missing one, don't be surprised.]

Last week sweet Erin announced that she would be involved in a mini series called Ablaze with a few other blogs. They talked about how to pursue Christ in singleness (Annie #1), while dating (Nicole, on breaking up and readjusting to the single life (Erin), and in marriage (Annie #2). It was a very good series and I appreciated the transparency each shared. While maintaining that they had not yet arrived, they gave practical advice and tips on pursuing Christ in the midst of whatever stage they're in. Today, they're providing a linkup for anyone to share how they're pursuing Christ in their own season of life.

I could go on and tell you all about the long saga that is my love life, but that is beside the point. What I can say is that I have learned through both success and failure how to pursue my relationship with God through each season described, excluding marriage. But right now, I'm single, so that's going to be my focus. 

There are many things I've learned through my singleness, especially in the past year. I have not always enjoyed being single, and it doesn't help that I'm about to be a senior at a small Christian college and my "ring by spring" is nowhere in sight. (Now, I never expected to graduate engaged, I'm just stating the stereotype. Many people do graduate engaged or married, so many of my friends are in that stage.) But lately, this summer especially, I have learned to not only accept my singleness, but to really embrace it and thank God for it. Here are some practical ways I've learned to pursue Christ in my singleness. They might all apply in every season, but work uniquely in each one.

1. Spend alone time with God. This is obvious, but it's central, and without it everything else would be pointless. As Christians, it's important to learn that our relationship with God is not just a part of our life. It IS our life. My wise-beyond-her-years friend in high school explained that life is like a wheel: God should be at the center of the wheel and everything else in our life should be a spoke that comes from our relationship with Him. Spending time in His Word, getting to know His character and growing in our knowledge of Him all yield the most important thing: loving Him. We also need to be spending time in prayer regularly. Talk to Him, ask Him to help you in certain things and pray for others. But remember to thank Him for His blessings and praise Him for who He is. 

2. Get involved in your church. Again, obvious, and important in every season. But while you're single, the truth is, you just have more time. Use it for furthering God's kingdom. I Corinthians 7:32-34a says, "But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided." It goes on to describe the same thing for women, too. Right now, as single people, we are free to be only concerned about the things of the Lord, but once we're married it will change. So get involved! Do you like kids? Teach Sunday school, become an Awana leader, or do VBS. Do you like to learn from older women and encourage younger women? Become involved in women's ministry, maybe a women's Bible study. Are you a behind the scenes person? See if the church office needs help folding a stuffing bulletins. Prepare the Communion elements whenever your church observes it. Volunteer to clean the church kitchen. Speaking of kitchens, if you have one, occasionally make meals for someone who's sick or just had a baby. Whatever your gifts may be, use them to serve God and serve your brothers and sisters in Christ.

3. Get wisdom. Talk to older ladies, married or unmarried. Learn from them. Learn how they pursued Christ while they were single. Get a realistic view on what it's like to be married. If you've read my blog before, you may know that I'm being discipled by an awesome lady named Meredith. We were connected through our church, but she lives on campus because her husband is a men's dorm RD. She has given me so much sound, practical advice, whether I'm single or dating someone.She's also shown me by example some of the struggles involved when you are married and have a two-year-old daughter (who is just the cutest thing!). She never complains or says anything bad about her husband or daughter. But I can see that my own romanticized view of marriage/parenting was skewed and not realistic. Yes, it is great and it's fun at times, but it's not always fun and games. Realizing that once you're married and start having kids life isn't just peachy and easy all the time has definitely helped me in my own contentment in this season of singleness.

4. Talk about it. Share with your peers your own thoughts on singleness. Share with them why you love it and why you dislike it, at times. Listen to their own likes and dislikes of it. I'm not saying to complain. Complaining never helps. But share with others what about singleness makes you struggle. This past semester I lived with my friend and her family, and it was great! There were times when I was struggling with contentment in singleness. When I'd share it with my friend, she would give me advice and share verses or quotes that had helped her when she'd struggled with the same thing. But make sure you reflect on why you enjoy it and share that too, because you never know who can be benefited by that.

5. Chase contentment. That word keeps popping up, but it's crucial. Be content. Remember who is in control? God, who is always good and kind. He has you in whatever season you're in because that's what's best for you right now. That sounds cliche, but don't let it be cliche, believe it to be true. He is wise and His ways are way better than ours, even if we don't think so at the time. Remember that God is the Giver of gifts - He has saved you from the power of sin, made you right with Him even though He's holy (!!), and given you eternal life. You probably have a roof over your head, food in your belly, clothes in your body. You may have great friends and family, a job, a computer (at least access to one), etc. He gives us so much yet we always want more. Learn contentment now, while single. Because when you're dating you're going to want marriage. When you're married, you're going to want kids. When your family outgrows your house, you'll want a bigger one. The list goes on. The thing is to be content at ALL times, because there's always something we want. We might as well learn it now.

6. Remember this verse. "For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord gives grace and glory, no good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly" Psalm 84:11. If you're walking with Him, and you don't have something, then it must not be good for you! Because if something is good for you, He wouldn't withhold it.

These are just a few things that have helped me while I'm single. I know I'm young and have a lot to learn, but I hope that by God's grace something I said may help someone else. I'm so thankful to the hosts and for their words and the chance to share my own two cents. 

To The Cross I Cling

"No day of my life has passed that has not proved me guilty in Your sight
The best I have to offer are these filthy rags and yet You love me.

All things in me call for my rejection; all things in You plead my acceptance.

I am guilty, but pardoned; by grace I've been set free.
I am ransomed through the blood You shed for me.
I was dead in my transgressions, but life you brought to me.
I am reconciled through mercy; to the cross I cling, to the cross I cling.

No more I am a slave to sin but bought with a price
Redemption that was purchased through the blessed cross that You bore for me.

All in things in me call for my rejection; all things in You plead my acceptance.

I am guilty, but pardoned; by grace I've been set free.
I am ransomed through the blood You shed for me.
I was dead in my transgressions, but life you brought to me
I am reconciled through mercy; to the cross I cling, to the cross I cling.

The cross is where I find death, is find where I find life, where mercy found me.
All things in me call for my rejection; all things in You plead my acceptance.

I am guilty, but pardoned; by grace I've been set free.
I am ransomed through the blood You shed for me.
I was dead in my transgressions, but life you brought to me
I am reconciled through mercy; to the cross I cling, to the cross I cling."

-To The Cross I Cling by The Village Church

This song has made an incredible impact in my life. Based off of a prayer from the Valley of Vision, "The Broken Heart", it succinctly states many truths Christians hold dear:
-Every day we prove we deserve death
-Nothing in us - even our best - is worthy of God
-He loves us anyway
-Everything inside of me shows that God should reject me
-Everything in Him accepts me, because Christ paid the debt on my behalf
-I AM guilty, but I've been pardoned anyway!
-His blood on the cross bought my freedom
-I was dead in my sin but He brought me life
-Through God's mercy I am now right with Him!

Because of all of these things that were accomplished by God at the cross, I cling (hold tight) to it. From the cross and the work completed on it, the price for my sins has been paid. Though God is a merciful, gracious, loving God, He is holy and just. His justice demands payments for my sins. But His mercy enables us to be reconciled -before, I was not right with God, but now we have a right relationship, for when He looks at me He sees the righteousness of Jesus Christ. This is why I cling to the cross - it reminds me what I once was, who God is, and who I now am because of the kindness of God. May we never forget these truths or allow them to become mundane, but rather cling to the cross.

(Find this song, listen to it, memorize it, get it stuck in your head.)

The Broken Heart {Valley of Vision}

"O Lord,
No day of my life has passed that has not
    proved me guilty in thy sight.
Prayers have been uttered from a prayerless heart;
Praise has been often praiseless sound;
My best services are filthy rags.
Blessed Jesus let me find  covert in thy appeasing wounds.
Though my sins rise to heaven thy merits soar above them;
Though unrighteousness weighs me down to hell,
    thy righteousness exalts me to thy throne.
All things in me call for my rejection,
All things in thee plead my acceptance.
I appeal from the throne of perfect justice
    to thy throne of boundless grace.
Grant me to hear thy voice assuring me:
    that by thy stripes I am healed,
    that thou wast bruised for my iniquities,
    that thou hast been made sin for me
    that I might be righteous in thee,
    that my grievous sins, my manifold sins
      are all forgiven,
    buried in the ocean of thy concealing blood.
I am guilty, but pardoned,
    lost, but saved,
    wandering, but found,
    sinning, but cleansed.
Give me perpetual broken-heartedness,
Keep me always clinging to thy cross,
Flood me every moment with descending grace,
Open to me the springs of divine knowledge,
    sparkling like crystal,
    flowing clear and unsullied
    through my wilderness of life."

My Hope is in The Lord

This song has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to be raised in a hymn singin' church. Though we don't only exclusively sing hymns, I knew what a hymnal was from a very young age and held one in my hands every Sunday. This was always one of my favorites. I love that it lays out the full gospel. It was written by Norman Clayton and once you recognize what true hope is, the lyrics become that much richer.

My hope is in the Lord

Who gave Himself for me

And paid the price of all my sin at Calvary.

[Chorus]

For me, He died

For me, He lives

And everlasting life and light He freely gives.

No merit of my own

His anger to suppress

My only hope is found in Jesus' righteousness.

And now for me He stands

Before the Father's throne

He shows His wounded hands and names me as His own.

His grace has planned it all

'Tis mine but to receive

And recognize His work of love and Christ believe.

Contentment

Contentment is something that everyone struggles with - if you don't, please tell me your secret! I know that I have struggled with contentment once or twice... Okay maybe a lot more than that. I am not writing this because I feel like I have achieved this. I am writing it because I know that it is something that I struggle with constantly and so other people probably do too. Before I get too into it, I want to define what it means to be contented, because I think it may be helpful to make sure we all are on the completely same page.

Contented: feeling or showing satisfaction with one's possessions, status, or situation (Merriam-Webster Dictionary App); satisfied with what God has given you right now, not needing, longing for, or expecting anything more or different (my own definition).

To give you an idea of some areas where people are discontent I thought I'd make a list. Not all of these things apply to me, but many of them do:

• Money. The idea that no matter how much money you have, it's not enough. 
• Status. Wanting more people to like you, craving admiration, needing everyone to see your value.
• Friends. Thinking that you don't have enough friends, or friends that do enough on weekends, or that your friendships are too shallow/deep/boring/joy-deprived, etc.
• Family. Knowing that all families are weird and have problems but wishing yours was less weird or had fewer problems (trust me - even the families that seem to be perfect, aren't)
• Job. It's a hard economy, I get that. But every job has its own set of pros and cons. Many people are underpaid. There aren't a lot of jobs out there for college grads - or anyone else, for that matter. 
• Relationships. "If I just had a boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse, all my problems wouldn't be so bad." Thinking you won't be lonely anymore and that you'll always something to do or someone to talk to, if only you just had someone.
• School. "School is boring." "Classes suck." "I have way too much homework and never get to sleep." "My GPA isn't what I want it to be."
• Possessions. Wanting a newer/better/faster everything. Wanting more. 
• Clothes. "I don't have anything to wear." "If only I had more options, getting dressed would be either."
• Appearance. The idea that you have to fix or hide every single flaw, never embracing the looks that God gave you. Focusing too much on the outside and not enough on the inside.
• Food. I'm in college and I know that cafeterias aren't exactly the place to get a gourmet, fully balanced fat-free vegan meal (is that combo possible?). Sometimes nothing tastes good. But God still provided a meal for you and it's important to be grateful.

These are just a few examples of things people are discontent in. Not all of these things are wrong across the board, for example, it's okay to look at your GPA and not be content because you know you can do way better if you just try. I'm not saying that it's always wrong to want a job, or know that you need to make a few more bucks to make ends meet this month, or knowing that your friends are doing more harm than good for your spiritual life, or whatever. But I think you can spot the difference if you try. Contentment is a heart thing.

"Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled, and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:11-3.

Paul, who wrote this book to the Philippians, sure knew how to be content. For those of you unfamiliar with this, it was a letter that he wrote to the church in Philippi while he was in jail. Wait - did I just say that? This guy, who says that he has "learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am", wrote that while he was in jail? While his basic human rights and freedoms we Americans fight so hard to keep were stripped from him? Huh. How then is this possible? Well, we see it in verse 13 - his contentment is possible because he "can do all things through [God] who strengthens" him. This verse is often taken out of context to mean that I can do whatever I put my mind to because God will make it possible. Maybe He does make seemingly impossible things happen, but that's not necessarily what this verse is promising. This verse says that those who look to Christ for the strength to be content can find it. Paul says that he was content both when he had a lot and when he had almost nothing. 

Some things to remember about contentment:

• Sometimes we are not supposed to be content. But the list is short - we are never to be content in our sin, in our knowledge of God, in our pursuit of holiness, and things like that. It's okay to always want to work harder to be a better employee/boss/friend/sibling/daughter/son/whatever.
• Wanting something doesn't necessarily mean you aren't content. It's okay that sometimes I see something and want it, even for a couple months, as long as I don't believe that I need it to be complete, or think that without it I am of less value. It's okay to want things in the future, like marriage, kids, and a home, but if that is your focus and you think you won't be happy or whole until you have those things, you have become discontent.
• Don't mistake contentment for an excuse to be lazy. It's not okay to be content with not trying something because you think God will work it out for you. You need to put full effort into things and be content with the results.
• Contentment is not based on circumstances. No matter how much you have, if you are discontented, you will always need more. That's why people pursue things so heartily sometimes, because they think that just a little bit more will be all they need. But are these people satisfied? No, because in their heart is discontentment. True contentment is like Paul's - content with everything and with nothing.
• The ability to be content comes from no other source than God Himself. Knowing who you are in Him, knowing what He's done for you on the cross and what He does for you every day of your life, and knowing that He is in control and has a plan helps. But when you still struggle, all you have to do is ask. "...You do not have because you do not ask." James 3:2. If you ask for help, God will give it to you!
• When you struggle being content, count your blessings. Seriously. Think about every single thing that you have been blessed with - I know that once I start, it's hard to stop! Then remember who has given you those things and thank Him for it.

Here are some quotes I found related to this subject:

• "Until we truly learn that God is sovereign, ordering everything for His own holy purposes and the ultimate good of those who love Him, we can’t help but be discontent. That’s because in taking on the responsibility of ordering our lives, we will be frustrated in repeatedly discovering that we can’t control everything. Everything already is under control, however, by Someone far greater than you or I." John MacArthur (found here - read the whole thing if you get a chance!)
• "Teach me to treat all that comes to me with peace of soul and firm conviction that your will governs all." Elisabeth Elliot
• "Don't let comparison steal your joy."
• "Start each day with a grateful heart."
• "Gratitude turns what we have into enough."
• "Someone else is happy with less than what you have."

He's Too Good for Me

"He's too good for me." I think this is something that all of us girls have all thought or vocalized at some point in our lives. I know that this is something that I have definitely thought before. When I was younger I based it on more shallow things like looks, social status, athleticism, etc. When I got to college and learned what's really valuable in relationships, it was based on godliness. There's one guy in particular that stands out as the one that I always thought was too good for me, because he's just the perfect guy (except not really) and I'm so not perfect. I was reading through my journal today because I finished it (!!!) and wanted to read everything I've learned throughout my time journaling. I got to a page that mentioned this very subject and stopped because I know it's something that many people struggle with so I decided to write about it.

This past school year has been an interesting one in the relationship department. I was single and not really looking but still kind of had my eyes on someone. He just seemed to be the best guy on campus. Definitely too good for me. Well, I always knew this thinking was flawed, but it wasn't until I talked to Meredith about it did I realize how and why it was. Thankfully, that was one of those conversations we had that I immediately went back to my room and journaled about, because it sure did open my eyes to my wrong thinking, so I'm glad to have a written record of it.

The first reason this mindset is flawed: it doesn't take the Gospel into account. As believers, we are taught that none of us is good. Rom 3:10 says "as it is written, THERE IS NONE RIGHTEOUS, NOT EVEN ONE" and Rom 3:23 says "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." None of us, left to our own devices, is good or does good. We can't because of our sin nature that has been with us our entire lives. Jesus Christ had to come die on the cross to pay the penalty for our sin, freeing us from the power of sin and reconciling us to the holy God of the universe. Our righteousness is not our own - it's Christ's, because He lived a sinless life while He was on earth. "He's too good for me" is a lie because no one is good at all. The statement is fundamentally flawed.

The second reason this mindset is flawed: sanctification is not our own work. It's important to remember that our sanctification (becoming pure) is from God. We can't sanctify ourselves, rather it is grace God does in our lives. Yes, we read God's word to know and love Him more, and we obey His commandments, but He is the one who grows us in Christlikeness. We don't make ourselves more godly. God makes us godly. And if it's a work that God does in our lives, who are we to compare our godliness with someone else's and say that they're too good for us? Isn't that kind of like saying that God hasn't done enough in my life to allow compatibility or whatever with so-and-so? Knowing that God is in charge of our sanctification takes so much pressure off - we just obey Him and He works in our hearts to change us and make us more like Him. Believing someone is too good for us because they're more godly or more sanctified than we are is wrong because it assumes we make ourselves godly/sanctified.

The third reason this mindset is flawed: it sets everyone up for failure. Say Girl likes Guy and thinks he's just perfect. Well, when she finds out that Guy squeezes his toothpaste from the middle of the tube (almost unforgivable) and that he struggles with his temper, she's going to be majorly bummed. It stinks for Guy too, because he has this standard of perfection that he's supposed to meet. Because he's not perfect, he'll eventually be seen as less valuable to Girl, which is a bummer for him. Also, if Guy knew that Girl thought so highly of him, he might become prideful, forgetting that sanctification is God's work in his life, not his own. Everyone loses in this situation.

The fourth reason this mindset is flawed: it doesn't take into account God's sovereignty. God is in control over every aspect of our lives, yes? Psalm 103:19 says "The Lord has established His throne in the heavens, and His sovereignty rules over all." The word used for "all" here means..."all" (ok, sorry...Christian college joke). I don't really want to get into the subject of is there just one person God has for us, or could we, by His grace, really spend the rest of our lives with just anyone who fits the requirements. But if God does have someone specific for us, thinking that someone is too good limits God (in our minds). If there's really someone that God has chosen for you or me, it doesn't matter how "good" or godly or whatever he is or I am, it'll happen. Also, if we think one person is too good for us, and then end up dating/marrying another person, is that saying that this guy isn't as good as the other one? It's all so complicated. We must rest in God's sovereignty over this. It's God's plan, God's man, and God's timing.

If not based on godliness, "He's too good for me" might be based on giftedness. It was for me. I just thought that this guy was so gifted, and knew he was faithfully using his gift at church, and thought that made him better than me. But Meredith reminded me that first of all, I've been gifted too and was also using my gifts to serve in the church. So that thinking was wrong. But even more than that, it was a wrong way to think because just as our sanctification comes from God, so do our gifts. That's why they're called GIFTS - they've been GIVEN to us. Just because two people have different gifts and use them differently doesn't mean that one is more gifted than the other - we all use our gifts differently because we have different gifts. She reminded me the reason for our gifts - to serve, love, and obey God. Our spiritual gifts are for the edification of the church, but ultimately they're about God and His glory. They aren't about us.

So friends, I thought I'd just share this with you in case you think this way. Never view another person as too good for you, because we (believers) are all sinners saved by grace. It's not beneficial for you personally to think this way. But even more importantly, it shows a misunderstanding of God and His work in our lives. If you really believe that everything is about Him, you have to allow Him to permeate every area of your life, including this one.

Hello! In case anyone was wondering, I didn't abandon this blog! I know that it's been over a month since I've written a post (aside from quotes I'd found). There have been several ideas swirling around in my head about things I could write, but none have truly taken form quite yet. I will be back soon with a post. And because it's summer, I plan to be able to write a lot. Though I go to a Christian college with Bible classes, 3 chapels a week, and a solid Bible-teaching church during the school year, it seems like sometimes I learn even more over the summer. Some of the times of my most intense learning have been in lazy summer days, so I hope to write a lot about all the things that the Lord teaches me.

"Our vision is so limited we can hardly imagine a love that does not show itself in protection from suffering. The love of God is of a different nature altogether. It does not hate tragedy. It never denies reality. It stands in the very teeth of suffering. The love of God did not protect His own Son. That was the proof of His love-that He gave that Son, that He let Him go to Calvary’s cross, though ‘legions of angels’ might have rescued Him. He will not necessarily protect us-not from anything it takes to make us like His Son. A lot of hammering and chiseling and purifying by fire will have to go into the process." Elisabeth Elliot

Quotes

"It is mercy that our lives are not left for us to plan, but that our Father chooses for us; else might we sometimes turn away from our best blessings, and put from us the choicest loveliest gifts of His providence." Susannah Spurgeon


"As long as you are proud you cannot know God. A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down you cannot see something that is above you." CS Lewis


"There is more mercy in Christ than sin in us." Richard Sibbes


"When you don't know what to do next, just do the thing in front of you." Elisabeth Elliot


"Hold everything in your hands lightly, otherwise it hurts when God pries your fingers open." Corrie ten Boom

Waiting (Again)

Okay, I'm going to be pretty honest here. I try to balance not airing all my dirty laundry with being honest about what I'm struggling through because I learn a lot through struggling. But this here is pretty personal. Lately, I've struggled massively with discontentment. I know that God has a plan for my life but I don't want to wait for His timing. I think (wrongly) that I really know better what I need than He does, and that I should get what I think I deserve when I want it. Trust me, I know what I truly deserve (hell) and I DON'T want that. But somehow I always think I deserve more than what I've been given and that God is unkind to withhold what I want from me. My journal is full of all that has been going through my mind lately, and it's not pretty - I am really struggling with being content. But I just allow myself to passively struggle rather than fight this sin.

But God is so good. He is so kind. He takes our struggles and helps us fight our sin. It's not something that we can't help. Yes, fighting sin is hard, but it is a battle and it is something we must be active about, not passive. I had a really good conversation with Courtney tonight and she shared a couple really good quotes with me and I was also reminded of one I found last summer. It's probably somewhere posted on my blog, but I think it is worth a rewrite, so here is one of the ones she shared and then the other is from my blog.

"One of God's most effective ways to grow our faith is to stretch it. We don't learn to trust God by reading a book or listening to a great sermon. We learn to trust God by living out a real-life adventure with God and discovering for ourselves that He is worthy." Glynnis Whitwer

"Faith endures the disappointment, the hardships, and the heartaches of life by recognizing that all comes from the hand of Him who is too wise to err and too loving to be unkind. So long as we are occupied with any other object than God Himself, there will be neither rest for the heart, nor peace for the mind." AW Pink

The reason that I've been discontent with my life lately is because I've been occupied with things (especially ones I don't have), rather than God Himself. If I truly focused on Him and was content in Him and all that He is and all that He's given for me and done for me, then I wouldn't have a hard time. But instead, I try to find fulfillment in things other than God, and it's just never going to be enough. The only true satisfaction comes from Him, not from my circumstances or my possessions.  Here are two more quotes that have been helpful to me other times when I've struggled with waiting on God and His timing. (I think that waiting and discontentment are often linked because many times what we're discontent about is something that we know will probably come in the future, and we are just sick of waiting for it. Impatience and discontentment are related deep at the root, I believe.)

"...the deepest spiritual lessons are not learned by His letting us have our way in the end, but by His making us wait, bearing with us in love and patience until we are able to honestly pray what He taught His disciples to pray: Thy will be done." Elisabeth Elliot

 "Waiting on God isn't about the suspension of meaning and purpose. It's part of the meaning and purpose that God has brought into my life. Waiting on God isn't to be viewed as an obstruction in the way of the plan. Waiting is an essential part of the plan. For the child of God, waiting isn't simply about what I'll receive at the end of my wait. No, waiting is much more purposeful, efficient, and practical than that. Waiting is fundamentally about what I'll become as I wait. God is using the wait to do in and through me exactly what He's promised. Through the wait He's changing me. By means of the wait He's altering the fabric of my thoughts and desires. Through the wait He's causing me to see and experience new things about Him and His kingdom. And all of this sharpens me, enabling me to be a more useful tool in His redemptive hands." Paul Tripp

 I really need to trust Him, because He is worthy of my trust, and He is so much wiser than I am! I see over and over how trustworthy He is, but still I fail to trust Him. I cannot wait for the day that faith becomes sight, because faith is hard!!

Pain and Suffering

Those words composing the title of this post have been a theme in my blog this school year, mainly last semester. It's been a rough school year, but God has used my pain (remember: He doesn't waste pain) to teach me so much. Once again, I'm writing with a heavy heart. Over the weekend (which was great, otherwise) I received some awful news. Someone who was very special to my little sister was in a car accident and he didn't make it. I'd never met him, so this post isn't about me and my pain, but about her.

My heart aches for my little sister, whom I love so much and want to protect from anything even slightly painful. I've struggled a little bit, wishing I could shield her from heartache like this, but also knowing that God had ordained both the moment Clark was born and also the moment he would die and He doesn't make mistakes. I struggle to find the balance between wanting my sister to never feel any pain and knowing that pain is something God uses to draw us closer to Him and show us how much we need Him. Everyone needs to be reminded of those things, and pain is a tool He uses for that end. So I know He will use her pain to grow her, but I still hate the thought of her hurting. Especially because we currently like 3000 miles away from each other and I can't even give her a hug.

If you think of her, please be praying for her as she faces tough days ahead. Also, pray for the Noonan family, who are mourning the loss of their 20-year-old son and brother. Thanks friends.

Something to Think About

Question from college group yesterday: Are you conforming to the Christian life, or to Christ Himself? More to come later!

Gentleness/Meekness

Came across this definition/explanation of "gentle" while doing homework for one of my classes. I can't seem to find the source, but it is either from Alfred Humphreys or W. E. Vine, as far as I can tell. (For those of you who are unfamiliar with it, the number is one given from the Strong's Concordance.) It's long but it's worth the read.

gentle (Greek#4239 praus) - "meek, gentle, mild"; it is an adornment of the Christian profession, I Pet. 3:4. "It is an inwrought grace of the soul, and the exercises of it are first and chiefly towards God. It is that temper of spirit in which we accept His dealings with us as good, and therefore without disputing and resisting. It is closely linked to the word for humility. It is the humble heart which is also the meek, and which, as such, does not fight against God and more or less struggle and contend with Him. This meekness, however, being first of all a meekness before God, is also such in the face of men, even of evil men, out of a sense that these, with the insults and injuries which they may inflict, are permitted and employed by Him for the chastening and purifying of His elect. In Gal. 5:23 it is associated with 'self-control'...this word (gentle/meek) describes a condition of mind and heart...the meekness manifested by the Lord and commended to the believer is the fruit of power. The common assumption is that when a man is meek it is because he cannot help himself; but the Lord was 'meek' because He had the infinite resources of God at His command. Described negatively, meekness is the opposite to self-assertiveness and self-interest; is is equanimity of spirit that is neither elated nor cast down, simply because it is not occupied with self at all."

There are so many things I could say about this, but I think that this pretty much says it all.

Quotes

‎"A person's involuntary response to the unexpected is a more reliable indicator of his character than his planned reaction to a situation he anticipates. It is when we are caught off guard that our true character is most likely to show itself." MacArthur

"Every experience God gives us, every person He puts into our lives, is the perfect preparation for a future only He can see." Corrie ten Boom

"Someone once observed that the toothache you have this very minute is the worst pain in the world." Elizabeth Elliot

"Let not our longing slay the appetite of our living." Jim Elliot

"When the will of God crosses the will of man, somebody has to die." Addison Leitch

"It is a good thing God chose me before I was born, because He surely would not have afterwards." Charles Spurgeon

Hope

Today as I sat in the Poached Pear with Meredith, I spilled my guts out and told her all that's gone on this week. It's been a rough one! Nothing bad has happened, I am just in many situations where I cannot control the outcome. She pointed out that this forces me to (and I am so thankful for it) completely trust in my all-powerful Creator who is in control and works all things for His glory and my good. She reminded me of the gospel and the fact that God is faithful and is working in my life, even through the tough times. This week has made me really think about where my hope lies. My hope is not on anything this world has to offer, but "is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness."

In high school, I remember hearing an amazing sermon from my youth pastor on hope. I do not remember much of what he said, but I found a source that has a similar message (for the full text, click here). Here's an exerpt I found especially helpful:

What's the difference between a Christian definition of hope and the way it is usually used?

The word "hope" in ordinary English vocabulary is generally distinguished from certainty. We would say, "I don't know what's going to happen, but I hope it happens."

When you read the word "hope" in the Bible (like in I Peter 1:13 - "set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ"), hope is not wishful thinking. It's not "I don't know if it's going to happen, but I hope it happens. That's absolutely not what is meant by Christian hope.

Christian hope is when God has promised that something is going to happen and you put your trust in that promise. Christian hope is a confidence that something will come to pass because God has promised it will come to pass.  -John Piper, emphases his

So to hope in God is to be fully assured that He will bring what He promised to pass. Hope is certain. Meredith reminded me that I must rest in God and His promises. When I don't have control over my circumstances it is the perfect reminder to trust in God. Hebrews 10:23 says, "Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful." Why are we able to hope in God? Because He is faithful to fulfill His promises! If He says He'll do something, HE WILL. Here are a few of the promises we hope in.

• Matthew 11:28-30 - "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." He gives rest - rest for our souls.
• Philippians 4:19 - "And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus." He will provide for ALL of your needs.
• Romans 8: 37 - "But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us." We can have victory over sin.
• Romans 8:38-39 - For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angles, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Nothing can take away His love from us.

I don't have much else to say about this, let alone time to say more. But I just was so encouraged by this reminder and wanted to share in case others could be encouraged, too.

A Letter to My Girls

To all the ladies in my life,

Yesterday was Valentine's Day, and many of you are single like I am. This can often be a difficult day for "all the single ladies". It feels even worse sometimes if you've had a valentine before, but you don't this year. Trust me, I know. Today a very insightful friend pointed out that for many of us girls, we plan these massive girls nights to have a blast and prove our independence and that we don't need a guy in our life, but often it's really a pity party on the inside. But I just want you all to remember some very important things.

God is in control. No matter what is going on in your life, He does have a plan (Psalm 37:23). If you daily seek His face and ask for His will and are obedient, you're exactly where you need to be. If that means you're in a relationship with a great guy, that is amazing! If it means that you're single right now, or experiencing a recent breakup, or heartache of feelings not reciprocated, that is amazing too. Even though it may sting a bit right now, God truly does have a plan. I'm not going to sit here and tell you that every single one of you who desires a relationship or marriage will have it someday. I can't promise that. But God has a plan for each of our lives and He will fulfill that plan. If you're alive and breathing and if you have salvation, you already have more than you deserve. God pours out blessings on His people. He gives us what we need (Philippians 4:19).

As cliche as these verses can sound, we find incredible truths in them (don't let the Bible become cliche, friends): "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths" (Proverbs 3:5-6). Trust God. Don't lean on your understanding (but on His). Acknowledge Him in all that you do. HE will direct your path. Know that He is God and that He has all the power in the world and that His will is your sanctification, and it's for your best. Remember that His ways are not our ways - they are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9). We will not always understand His ways, but He's the omniscient one. He knows what He's doing. Lean on that, not your own understanding of how things "should" be.

Friday a sweet friend reminded me of this truth - God withholds no good things from those who walk uprightly (Psalm 84:11). If God withholds no good thing from us when we obey Him, and we're obeying Him, what we don't have really isn't good for us at the present time. This isn't to say that it won't be good for us to have in the future. It means that right now we are better off without the things we don't have, or else we'd have them. This may mean that I (or you, or someone else) never get the things we want from this life - our own family, security, a job we love, whatever else. But if God is withholding it, we really are better off that way. And if it's His will, one day you will have a wonderful man to celebrate every Valentine's Day with.

But for now - soak up your time as a single lady! Enjoy your friends, especially your girlfriends. Don't sweat the small things. Choose your battles. Love people as much as you can. Get involved in ministry. Get a discipler. Disciple someone else. Be an encourager to those around you. Try something new. Forgive fully every chance you get. Take adventures. Do crazy things. Be part of a small group or Bible study. Make new foods. Meet new people. Hang out with kids. Study the Bible intensely. Work hard in school. Work hard at your job. Do everything to the best of your ability. Enjoy the time and the freedom you have that may not be there when you're in a relationship.

Take Time to Be Holy

Take time to be holy. Speak oft with thy Lord;

Abide in Him always, and feed on His Word.

Make friends with God's children; help those who are weak,

Forgetting in nothing, His blessing to seek.

Take time to be holy. The world rushes on;

Spend much time in secret, with Jesus alone.

By looking to Jesus, like Him thou shalt be;

Thy friends in thy conduct, His likeness shall see.

Take time to be holy. Let Him be thy Guide;

And run not before Him, whatever betide.

In joy or in sorrow, still follow thy Lord,

And, looking to Jesus, still trust in His word.

Take time to be holy, be calm in thy soul;

Each tho't and each motive, beneath His control.

Thus led by the Spirit, to fountains of love,

Thou soon shalt be fitted, for service above.

The other day, I was reading one of my books for class (Living by the Book by Howard Hendricks and William Hendricks), and something the author said struck a chord. I would love to quote an entire paragraph from the book but am not sure about the legality of that. So instead, I'll sum it up for you. In a chapter on the importance and the how-to of meditative Bible reading, he mentioned this hymn. Meditation takes time, but time is exactly what we need. We need to spend time reflecting on the Word in order to know, love, and imitate God more.

I remember singing this in church growing up. Over and over, I am so thankful to have gone to a hymn-singing church for my whole life. This is exactly the kind of song I need to sing over and over to remind myself of its truths. The cool thing is that this song has so many practical applications to the main message. It gives you plenty of ways to "take time to be holy" if you don't know where to begin. Meditation on the Word of God is just one way to do this. Praying to Him, abiding in Him, feeding on His Word, befriending other believers, helping people who are weak, remembering what He's done for you (in light of who He is and who you are), following Him in joy and in sorrow....these are all ways to be holy.

An important thing to keep in check is your motivation. Holiness, while essential and important, is not the main thing. The main thing is knowing and loving God more so that you can glorify Him better. Holiness comes from that, and it must be practiced. But you must be careful to not pursue holiness only for the sake of being holy or for the sake of appearing to be holy to others. You must learn to be holy because it's what God requires - "Because it is written, 'Be holy, for I am holy.'" I Peter 1:16, and obedience is what pleases Him.

Struggles

The more I learn about myself, the more I see how sinful I am.
I struggle to be selfless.
I struggle to think often about God and things that are eternal.
I struggle to have only righteous anger.
I struggle to be content.
I struggle to be diligent and disciplined.
I struggle to focus on what matters and forget about what doesn't.
I struggle to not be passive aggressive.

The important thing, though, is to not just let myself struggle. I need to fight my sin. (Wisdom of Jake Ebner obtained second hand). Killing sin is part of dying to self - Paul even said "I die daily" (I Corinthians 15:31). The good news: we can have victory over our sin! And...though it is usually difficult, and it is often hard work to fight our sin nature, it's not a pointless fight. "The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law; but thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord." (I Corinthians 15:56-58).

The Wait is Over!

In my last post (here), I talked about how I was waiting for something could happen, and my hands were pretty much tied until I got the news. Well, soon after posting it, I got my answer! I didn't want to say anything until I knew one way or the other, and until most of my friends knew, but I am living off campus with the wonderful Brooks family this semester. I didn't know for sure until 4 o'clock of move-in day, and felt helpless, because I didn't know whether I should move my stuff (from break) at the Brooks' to the dorm, or everything else from my dorm to the Brooks'. It was not a super pleasant feeling, and I learned that I do not like not having control. But you know what? I'm thankful for my wait. I am thankful that God gave me an opportunity to totally lean on Him, and trust that He had a plan. Until 4 o'clock that day, I did not know where I'd be sleeping that night. But I did know that God is good, and that either way He was in control, and either way I'd at least have somewhere to sleep. It's not until you're forced to trust Him that you see how much you actually do trust Him. It's like I talked about learning in class with Abner Chou a few months ago (here). Trials come, not because God wants to know where our hearts are (because He already knows), but to show us where we are. You can either let yourself grow anxious, fearful, angry, etc. when trials come, or you can choose to fight those and trust in the all-knowing, all-powerful Creator of the universe. My advice is to place your trust in God, because it pleases Him, and only then will you find the peace and solace you need.

Waiting

Right now I am waiting for information that affects the rest of this semester. I can't do anything until I get the call/email. It's been a difficult wait. I'm struggling with patience - I know God already has a plan and that whatever the outcome is will a) glorify Him and b) be best for me. But the not knowing...it's tough. I am leaning on my faith and trust in my sovereign Creator. And that's not such a bad place to be, at all. Be anxious is not going to help. As my wise dad said to me yesterday, uncertainty should not cause worry. So I'm doing my best not to worry, and trying to focus on trusting God. He is so good. Even in this time of waiting, I am thankful because I know that in the end I will come out more refined than before. Earlier I remembered that last semester I kept seeing quotes about waiting, and because I could not stop thinking about the subject, I wrote a blog post about it (on my other blog). The funny thing is when I wrote it, I wasn't thinking about waiting for anything in particular; I was only thinking about the general concept. And now that I have this wait I'm kind of struggling through, I can look back and see what I had written. It's funny looking through my own blog and finding strength and comfort in the words I find there. But that's just one of the cool ways God works! Here are the two quotes I put in that post in case you don't read the actual post.

...the deepest spiritual lessons are not learned by His letting us have our way in the end, but by His making us wait, bearing with us in love and patience until we are able to honestly to pray what He taught His disciples to pray: Thy will be done. - Elisabeth Elliot in Passion and Purity

Waiting on God isn't about the suspension of meaning and purpose. It's part of the meaning and purpose that God has brought into my life. Waiting on God isn't to be viewed as an obstruction in the way of the plan. Waiting is an essential part of the plan. For the child of God, waiting isn't simply about what I'll receive at the end of my wait. No, waiting is much more purposeful, efficient, and practical than that. Waiting is fundamentally about what I'll become as I wait. God is using the wait to do in and through me exactly what He's promised. Through the wait He's changing me. By means of the wait He's altering the fabric of my thoughts and desires. Through the wait He's causing me to see and experience new things about Him and His kingdom. And all of this sharpens me, enabling me to be a more useful tool in His redemptive hands. - Paul Tripp 

This song is currently on repeat:
"Behold our God
Seated on His throne
Come let us adore Him
Behold our King
Nothing can compare
Come let us adore Him"
-Behold Our God, Sovereign Grace Music

Sorry if any of this is mixed up or confusing, I'm trying to battle with my emotions at the moment.

Found this

I'm following Rick Holland on twitter, so I found this blog post he wrote today. Now, I'm not his son - let alone, a male - and I'm not sixteen, so not all of this directly applies to me. But there were so many great pieces of advice in here that I just had to share. Enjoy!

Self-Knowledge {Valley of Vision}

Searcher of hearts,
It is a good day to me when thou givest me a glimpse of myself;
Sin is my greatest evil, but thou art my greatest good;
I have cause to loathe myself, and not to seek self-honour, for no one desires to commend his own dunghill.
My country, family, church fare worse because of my sins,
for sinners bring judgment in thinking sins are small, or that God is not angry with them.

Let me not take other good men as my example,
and think I am good because I am like them,
For all good men are not so good as thou desirest,
are not always consistent, do not always follow holiness, do not feel eternal good in sore affliction.

Show me how to know when a thing is evil which I think is right and good,
how to know when what is lawful comes from an evil principle,
such as desire for reputation or wealth by usury.

Give me grace to recall my needs,
my lack of knowing thy will in Scripture,
of wisdom to guide others,
of daily repentance, want of which keeps thee at bay,
of the spirit of prayer, having words without love,
of zeal for thy glory, seeking my own ends,
of joy in thee and thy will,
of love to others.
And let me not lay my pipe too short of the fountain,
never touching the eternal spring, never drawing down water from above.


Read this prayer this morning and was humbled by it. I hope that the truths in this prayer humble you too.

Quotes

"If we are not content with what we have, we will never be content with what we want." Nancy Leigh DeMoss

"Hurry is a place of life that is seldom conducive to godliness, to relationships, to anything that ultimately matters to us." Nancy Leigh DeMoss

"Repenting is telling Christ exactly why you need Him." David Osborne

"Rom Coms"

This article written by Betsy Hart sums up exactly why I have been taking a break from romantic comedies and similar things. (Though I will admit I have listened to several Lady Antebellum songs I previously omitted from regular use - and am back to taking my break from them). If you can, I would encourage you to read the entire post. 

Here are some highlights (note: she refers to these movies as romantic pornography in the title and the body of the post):

"Just as sexual pornography twists an understanding for men about real women’s bodies and sexual appetites, so romantic pornography twists the perception for women about real men and how they “ought” to behave toward women, which tends to amount to, well, behaving like a woman. "

"Scripture is clear that the ultimate bridegroom jealously pursues his bride, the church. In fact romantic pornography has a ring of truth to it, which is one reason it is powerful."

"C. S. Lewis addressed the issue so well in his essay on chivalry:

The medieval knight brought together two things which have no natural tendency to gravitate toward one another. It brought them together for that very reason. It taught humility and forbearance to the great warrior because everyone knew by experience how much he usually needed that lesson. It demanded valor of the urbane and modest man because everyone knew that he was as likely as not to be a milksop.

In other words boys and men may need to be civilized, but never feminized."

Romantic comedies and the like place unrealistic expectations on men. Expecting a man to basically act like a woman is expecting him to act differently than the way he was wired. Women expect their men to have both ultra masculine qualities and feminine qualities, and they just aren't wired like that. I like what Hart said - they should "be civilized, but never feminized". They may not have fifteen different emotions that they want to discuss with you, and you have to be okay with that. Your boyfriend is just that - a boyfriend, not your best girlfriend to have spa days with. Expecting him to be he isn't is a) going to hurt you in the end, and b) unfair to him. God created each person to bear His image - don't try to change him (except, obviously, this does not mean that we accept sin). Let him be a man, the way he was created to be!

The other danger with "rom coms" I have mentioned previously (here) is the expectation it puts on men for pursuit. In movies, the female character doesn't just play hard to get, she is hard to get - almost impossible in fact. But also in movies, the male character will stop at nothing to get her affections! If he has to chase her on his motorcycle and stop her cab driver from taking her to the airport when she's about to move (How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days, he will. If he has to denounce his "player" ways and admit he's "whipped", he will (John Tucker Must Die). If he has to woo her by his Southern ways and remind her (without words) that she won't find love with her current fiance like she did with him, he will (Sweet Home Alabama). I could keep going. 

The reality is yes, guys may like a challenge, but if they perceive that they have no chance, they will move on. The common consensus among the ladies of The Master's College is that the men need to step it up, ask more girls out, relax a little bit and just ask someone out without needing to know if she's "the one" first, etc. I've heard all of those many times, and have said them myself. But often the girls aren't aware of the reason why it's hard for them to do those things - they have been rejected too many times. They don't want to risk it happening again. (Now I'm not going to go into whose side is right or wrong. I'm just stating the facts.) The bummer is that often when a girl is seemingly rejecting a guy, she is just trying to get him to try harder, like the guys in romantic comedies.

Now, I am not saying that I think romantic comedies are bad. They can be fun, in moderation. I definitely enjoy a good chick flick. I am just saying that they aren't reality.

So girls, here are my suggestions:

• When you watch movies like this, be careful to not get wrapped up in false ideas of what guys are/should be. Remember to be realistic. Remember these movies are fiction.
• Don't get jaded and think "no guys are romantic", "love doesn't exist" or other things like that. There are real, true love stories out there, stories who are written by none other than God Himself, the Creator and Sustainer of the universe!
• If you want, try and take a break from romantic comedies and love songs. It's very helpful!

Being Realistic When Unrealistic Expectations Are Thrown Your Way

I found a quote on Pinterest that says, "What screws us up most in life is the picture in our heads of how it's supposed to be." Now I won't go into the fact that that is probably not what messes us up the most, but the rest of it is true.

Growing up with the mind of a typical girl, Disney, Taylor Swift, chick flicks, country music, fairy tales, etc. was fun. It was always interesting to think about the future and what it would be like to have a boyfriend or husband or to be in love. And of course, these things were always discussed with my girlfriends. We made lists of our ideal future husbands and talked about our ideas of what love and marriage were like. We believed that life would be perfect, or at least complete, if we finally had all of those things we had desired when we were younger.

Then, my junior year of high school, it happened - I got a boyfriend. Life was GOOD. I loved having him in my life. We had so much fun and I was very happy to be with someone I liked so much. All of the love songs I had heard, all of the cheesy stereotypes of what "love" should be like...I thought they had all come true for me and the bf. But eventually reality set in. Neither of us were perfect - in fact, we were both sinners who often looked out for our own personal interests rather than the interests of others, as Philippians 2:4 exhorts. There were conflicts to address and problems to work through. Why had Disney never told me that being in a relationship would come with heartache and disappointments too? Why had no one mentioned that other girls might be interested in my boyfriend? Why did The Notebook make arguing look romantic, rather than difficult and hurtful? Where were the stories about how intimidating it felt like to meet his friends or extended family? Why hadn't anyone said that you might still feel lonely at times, even when in a relationship? How are you supposed to know that months after a breakup you could still feel the loss? No one had ever warned me about these things! Yes, dating was great, and I don't want to sound like it wasn't. It was full of good times. But there were so many things that had been left out of it to give me and other girls a full picture of what it was like. Until my first relationship with a guy, I had no idea what it was really like.

Relationships aren't perfect because people aren't perfect. But so often girls are caught up in the trap of thinking, "If I just had a boyfriend, _________ would be easier" or "If I were in love, the pain of _________ would be so much less". Your problems will not end the moment you say "I do". As women, many of us have been thinking about our weddings since the age of five, mainly focusing on the man who would meet us at the end of the altar. We often just know that if we were married, we would be content/less lonely/happier/complete...the list goes on and on. I know I have thought like this before, and I know many other ladies who do/have. A problem with this is that our sin does not go away overnight. Discontentment, loneliness, etc, are often rooted in deeper things, such as not believing that God is enough. If you cannot find God to be enough before you're married, you won't be able to after, either. You must fight against your flesh and find your identity and sufficiency in Christ. The other problem with this is it's the same thing that happened in high school - I had idealized notions of what dating was like, and though there was truth in those notions, the harder things had been left out. Similarly, I can picture what marriage will be like all I want, but it probably won't be anything like that. Such is the danger of imagining things. We often set ourselves up for disappointment, hurt, and confusion.

One of the most dangerous things about this is not just idealizing the marriage, but idealizing the man. As I mentioned before, girls fantasize about what they want in a husband. Tall, dark, and handsome, strong, athletic, funny, gentleman, loves animals, loves kids, sensitive, makes a lot of money, hardworking, Christian, leader, writer, wise, charming, servant, good with technology, musician, wants to be (or is) a missionary/soldier/doctor/firefighter/whatever, avid reader, smart, kind, generous, humble...I think you get the picture. While many of these are good to look for, and some I personally consider non-negotiable, we have to remember to be realistic. No man exists who holds all of these qualities all the time. We also must keep the main thing, the main thing. Focus on his heart and who he is, rather than the externals. Meredith has told me countless times that she is so glad she married Jake, because he is such a kind and humble man. She warns against marrying, and even dating, men who are not characterized by these qualities, because they are crucial.

Don't get so wrapped up in your own idea of what you want in a man, that you miss the truly important things. Don't get so wrapped up in your idealistic views of marriage that you forget that there are struggles in marriage too. Talk to married people about what marriage is really like. Have realistic expectations. Learn contentment now. Learn to live life to the fullest, whatever your circumstances. Be grounded in God and His word. Ask Him to line your thoughts up with His. Find your identity and joy in Him. "Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness" (Matt 6:33).