To NOT Do:

Well, I've already shared what I'm doing over break here (tackling the reading list I was given for Children's Lit, which I'm taking next semester). But there is something else I'm doing - or rather, not doing - over break (for an indefinite period of time - maybe 'til January, maybe til break ends, maybe longer).

Let me start by saying this: I love love songs. They're so cute and they make me happy, plus they are just fun to sing along to. I also really enjoy romantic comedies, or books that include love stories, and other similar things. But over the last couple weeks I have realized that this is dangerous. It totally breeds discontentment in my current state of singleness. Don't get me wrong - I am enjoying being single. I love the time I have to spend time with sweet girlfriends and serving in my church. But when I am constantly bombarded with "love stories" and things like that, my contentment dwindles.

Another thing is this: the "love" shown in these movies/songs/books is not real. And if it does happen to be real, it's not the lasting kind of love. It's only the romantic love that is shown. But a good marriage includes more than just romantic love, because that comes and goes. It needs to have a self-sacrificial love. Husbands are commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Eph 5:25). How did Christ love the church? He gave His life for her. This is the love that marriage must be built on. (Wives should also love their husbands this way.) Should the romantic kind of love be there? Of course! But it needs to be so much more than just that. But when people only see the romance of relationships, they develop unrealistic expectations.

Speaking of unrealistic expectations, Meredith said something that was really helpful, too. She said that in chick flicks, the man is willing to bend over backward and do whatever it takes to catch the attention of a woman. He will fight as hard as he needs to, for however long he needs to, to get the woman of his dreams. But in real life, this doesn't happen. Most guys will stop pursuing if they can see that it's clearly doing no good. (I think...I can't say that with authority because I'm, you know, not one of them.)

For these reasons, I am not going to listen to love songs (have to go through my iTunes and change the music it plays) or watch romantic comedies. I am not going to read any books that have romance stories either (not that I read many of those, but sometimes you start reading a novel and realize it's just a fatty love story). I know that I can't entirely avoid romance over break - it's not a realistic goal. And it's not what I want necessarily, either. As long as romance/a relationship is not the main focus of the movie/book, it's ok.

Why am I doing this? I don't want to have a worldly view of romance/relationships/marriage. While I'm single is a good time to take the time to think about this. If God blesses me with a husband in the future, I do not want to have unrealistic expectations of what our relationship should look like. I want my thoughts toward this to be based on truth from God's Word. I don't want it to be affected by the world's cheap ideas and definitions. The Bible says not to be conformed to this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2). This is one area my mind needs renewal, so that is what I intend to do.

Growing up, I was taught that when you "put off" one thing, you must "put on" something else. So I'm "putting off" love songs, chick flicks, etc, and putting on truth. The best thing I can do in life is to know and love God more. These things can often be a distraction from God and from the truth of His Word. As I study His Word and spend time in prayer, I always learn so much about Him. And the more I know Him, the more I love Him. As I see His character, I will also see truths about marriage and things like that. I will also be more content in my singleness. Whether or not I ever marry is in the Lord's hands, and as much as I'd love to have a husband and kids someday, I know that it may not happen. I need to trust Him in this area of my life (though this is often hard). This little project is about renewing my mind. But even more than that, it is about knowing Him. He is the main focus.

Why am I posting this on my blog? It may seem like a kind of personal thing to post on the internet. But I am pretty much an open book. I enjoy sharing what God does in my life, and I know that He's already worked through this project and will continue to do so. I may post more about it as time goes on and as I learn more. But I'm not sure if I will, so if you're reading this and ever want to know how it's going, feel free to ask. Also feel free to keep me accountable in this.

I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! And if you're on break from school, enjoy this time and be refreshed (but do not become spiritually lazy-life is a constant spiritual battle) by the time off!! Love you all.