As a woman who has grown up in the church and in a Christian school for most of my life, the phrase "guard your heart" (Proverbs 4:23, NIV) is one I have heard many a time. Let's be honest - it's one we hear and use quite often. Single Christian girls/women are constantly reminded to guard their hearts in reference to the opposite sex. But as I was reading a blog post by someone older and wiser, I saw that this is so wrong. Look at the context of this verse in Proverbs 23:
20 My son, give attention to my words;
Incline your ear to my sayings.
21 Do not let them depart from your sight;
Keep them in the midst of your heart.
22 For they are life to those who find them
And health to all [g]their body.
23 Watch over your heart with all diligence,
For from it flow the springs of life.
24 Put away from you a deceitful mouth
And put devious [h]speech far from you.
25 Let your eyes look directly ahead
And let your [i]gaze be fixed straight in front of you.
26 Watch the path of your feet
And all your ways will be established.
27 Do not turn to the right nor to the left;
Turn your foot from evil.
(This quote is from the NASB version of the Bible. It's a different version than the previous one mentioned, and it doesn't use the words "guard your heart" specifically. This is my preferred version, but when people talk about the verse, they always use the NIV version, so I am using that specific phrase in this post...sorry if this is confusing.)
If you take a look at the context of the verse, it's not talking about romance at all. What are we to guard our hearts from? Sin. Walking with God is an active lifestyle. You must fight your sin, or it will destroy you, hence the words "guard"/"watch over" and "with all diligence". The other night I had a conversation with a sweet girl about the effects of sin. We have both watched it absolutely destroy those we love recently. It must be kept in check. If you don't destroy your sin, your sin will destroy you. This is why we must guard our hearts from it. Ultimately, our goal of guarding our hearts from sin must be out of our love and fear for God. His glory must be the driving motivator of our actions. He gets the most glory when we destroy our sins.
Note: it is important to be careful with where you place your romantic affections, and it is important to encourage others to do the same. It's also important to make sure that your thoughts, attitudes, words, actions, motives, etc. are pure in regards to relationships/romance. This just is not the verse from which to base those ideas.
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