Pursuing God in Singleness

[Warning: my "o" key decided to be temperamental a few days ago so if any words are missing one, don't be surprised.]

Last week sweet Erin announced that she would be involved in a mini series called Ablaze with a few other blogs. They talked about how to pursue Christ in singleness (Annie #1), while dating (Nicole, on breaking up and readjusting to the single life (Erin), and in marriage (Annie #2). It was a very good series and I appreciated the transparency each shared. While maintaining that they had not yet arrived, they gave practical advice and tips on pursuing Christ in the midst of whatever stage they're in. Today, they're providing a linkup for anyone to share how they're pursuing Christ in their own season of life.

I could go on and tell you all about the long saga that is my love life, but that is beside the point. What I can say is that I have learned through both success and failure how to pursue my relationship with God through each season described, excluding marriage. But right now, I'm single, so that's going to be my focus. 

There are many things I've learned through my singleness, especially in the past year. I have not always enjoyed being single, and it doesn't help that I'm about to be a senior at a small Christian college and my "ring by spring" is nowhere in sight. (Now, I never expected to graduate engaged, I'm just stating the stereotype. Many people do graduate engaged or married, so many of my friends are in that stage.) But lately, this summer especially, I have learned to not only accept my singleness, but to really embrace it and thank God for it. Here are some practical ways I've learned to pursue Christ in my singleness. They might all apply in every season, but work uniquely in each one.

1. Spend alone time with God. This is obvious, but it's central, and without it everything else would be pointless. As Christians, it's important to learn that our relationship with God is not just a part of our life. It IS our life. My wise-beyond-her-years friend in high school explained that life is like a wheel: God should be at the center of the wheel and everything else in our life should be a spoke that comes from our relationship with Him. Spending time in His Word, getting to know His character and growing in our knowledge of Him all yield the most important thing: loving Him. We also need to be spending time in prayer regularly. Talk to Him, ask Him to help you in certain things and pray for others. But remember to thank Him for His blessings and praise Him for who He is. 

2. Get involved in your church. Again, obvious, and important in every season. But while you're single, the truth is, you just have more time. Use it for furthering God's kingdom. I Corinthians 7:32-34a says, "But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided." It goes on to describe the same thing for women, too. Right now, as single people, we are free to be only concerned about the things of the Lord, but once we're married it will change. So get involved! Do you like kids? Teach Sunday school, become an Awana leader, or do VBS. Do you like to learn from older women and encourage younger women? Become involved in women's ministry, maybe a women's Bible study. Are you a behind the scenes person? See if the church office needs help folding a stuffing bulletins. Prepare the Communion elements whenever your church observes it. Volunteer to clean the church kitchen. Speaking of kitchens, if you have one, occasionally make meals for someone who's sick or just had a baby. Whatever your gifts may be, use them to serve God and serve your brothers and sisters in Christ.

3. Get wisdom. Talk to older ladies, married or unmarried. Learn from them. Learn how they pursued Christ while they were single. Get a realistic view on what it's like to be married. If you've read my blog before, you may know that I'm being discipled by an awesome lady named Meredith. We were connected through our church, but she lives on campus because her husband is a men's dorm RD. She has given me so much sound, practical advice, whether I'm single or dating someone.She's also shown me by example some of the struggles involved when you are married and have a two-year-old daughter (who is just the cutest thing!). She never complains or says anything bad about her husband or daughter. But I can see that my own romanticized view of marriage/parenting was skewed and not realistic. Yes, it is great and it's fun at times, but it's not always fun and games. Realizing that once you're married and start having kids life isn't just peachy and easy all the time has definitely helped me in my own contentment in this season of singleness.

4. Talk about it. Share with your peers your own thoughts on singleness. Share with them why you love it and why you dislike it, at times. Listen to their own likes and dislikes of it. I'm not saying to complain. Complaining never helps. But share with others what about singleness makes you struggle. This past semester I lived with my friend and her family, and it was great! There were times when I was struggling with contentment in singleness. When I'd share it with my friend, she would give me advice and share verses or quotes that had helped her when she'd struggled with the same thing. But make sure you reflect on why you enjoy it and share that too, because you never know who can be benefited by that.

5. Chase contentment. That word keeps popping up, but it's crucial. Be content. Remember who is in control? God, who is always good and kind. He has you in whatever season you're in because that's what's best for you right now. That sounds cliche, but don't let it be cliche, believe it to be true. He is wise and His ways are way better than ours, even if we don't think so at the time. Remember that God is the Giver of gifts - He has saved you from the power of sin, made you right with Him even though He's holy (!!), and given you eternal life. You probably have a roof over your head, food in your belly, clothes in your body. You may have great friends and family, a job, a computer (at least access to one), etc. He gives us so much yet we always want more. Learn contentment now, while single. Because when you're dating you're going to want marriage. When you're married, you're going to want kids. When your family outgrows your house, you'll want a bigger one. The list goes on. The thing is to be content at ALL times, because there's always something we want. We might as well learn it now.

6. Remember this verse. "For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord gives grace and glory, no good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly" Psalm 84:11. If you're walking with Him, and you don't have something, then it must not be good for you! Because if something is good for you, He wouldn't withhold it.

These are just a few things that have helped me while I'm single. I know I'm young and have a lot to learn, but I hope that by God's grace something I said may help someone else. I'm so thankful to the hosts and for their words and the chance to share my own two cents.