Proverbs 29:5

Proverbs 29:5 - A man who flatters his neighbor is spreading a net for his steps.

I read this verse this morning and it immediately caught my eye. So many times we think of flattering people as a good thing, but Solomon (the writer of Proverbs) is saying that flattery spreads a net? What does this mean?

So I turned to the most handy Bible study tool that I know of - Blue Letter Bible. Meredith showed it to me last year and showed me how to use it, and I am now so grateful. One of the options it gives you is to read commentaries by different people on the chapter you're studying. I went to Matthew Henry's commentary on this verse and this is what it said (it's long, but please read it - so worth it):

Pro 29:5

Those may be said to flatter their neighbours who commend and applaud that good in them (the good they do or the good they have) which really either is not or is not such as they represent it, and who profess that esteem and that affection for them which really they have not; these spread a net for their feet. 1. For their neighbours’ feet, whom they flatter. They have an ill design in it; they would not praise them as they do but that they hope to make an advantage of them; and it is therefore wisdom to suspect those who flatter us, that they are secretly laying a snare for us, and to stand on our guard accordingly. Or it has an ill effect on those who are flattered; it puffs them up with pride, and makes them conceited and confident of themselves, and so proves a net that entangles them in sin. 2. For their own feet; so some understand it. He that flatters others, in expectation that they will return his compliments and flatter him, does but make himself ridiculous and odious even to those he flatters.

A. R. Fausset's commentary is short and to the point: "By misleading him as to his real character, the flatterer brings him to evil, prepared by himself or others."


So flattery is deceitful, misleads a man about his own character, is brought by selfish motives, and has an evil effect on the person being flattered.


This is not to say that complimenting people is wrong. It's talking about flattery that is misleading and born from selfishness. When you want to compliment someone make sure it is genuine and that it comes from a heart wanting to encourage the person, not in hopes of receiving a compliment in return. Also, something we've talked about a lot in my college group throughout my time at PBC is how easy it is to always compliment people on the outward things, to say things like "your hair/makeup/outfit/etc looks great today" all the time. But how often to we comment on the character of people? It's much easier to compliment someone's appearance rather than their integrity, honesty, servant's heart, Christ-likeness, trustworthiness, etc. That is really what we should be focusing on more, rather than vain [fleeting] things like appearance. If someone looks nice, go ahead and tell them. But make sure that you're more often complimenting people for what's on the inside, because that is what really matters. It is also more encouraging to the listener to hear something positive about their character than their appearance, because character comes from living a consistent life, while appearance changes every day.