Valley of Vision - A Prayer of Confession and Petition

"Holy Lord, I have sinned times without number, and been guilty of pride and unbelief, of failure to find Thy mind in Thy Word, of neglect to see Thee in my daily life. My transgressions and short-comings present me with a list of accusations, but I bless Thee that they will not stand against me, for all have been laid on Christ. Go on to subdue my corruptions, and grant me grace to live above them. Let not the passions of the flesh nor lustings of the mind bring my spirit into subjection, but do Thou rule over me in liberty and power."

So thankful I found this. It was exactly what I needed to read this afternoon. So many other sins can stem from a "failure to find [His] mind in [His] Word" and "neglect to see [Him] in my daily life." So thankful for God's grace that is more abundant than sin (Rom 5:20). Also thankful that my sins "will not stand against me, for all have been laid on Christ."

The song Jesus, I My Cross Have Taken was new to me when I came to college. It's an old hymn written by Henry Lyte. The melody we use is different from the original though, and was written by Indelible Grace (I think?). Each verse is extremely convicting/encouraging/just thought-provoking in general. Seriously, if you haven't heard this song or do not know it very well, look it up! The version by Enfield is my favorite. 

Again, each verse is packed with truth. But here's one that is particularly challenging at times. It was pointed out sometime in chapel, or dorm chapel, or college group at my church, or something. But whoever was leading music pointed this verse out and reminded us of its meaning, which I will elaborate on after writing it out:

"Soul, then know thy full salvation

Rise o'er sin and fear and care

Joy to find in every station

Something still to do or bear

Think what Spirit dwells within thee

Think what Father's smiles are thine

Think that Jesus died to win thee

Child of heaven, canst thou repine?"

I'm mainly going to focus on the last 4 lines of it [though the whole thing is good]. As Christians, we can find joy in every part of life. No matter what we're going through, there is joy to be had. If it seems hard to find joy, then think about this: 

You have the Spirit of God dwelling within you, giving you all the fruits of the Spirit (including joy!), discipling you, strengthening your faith, encouraging you, convicting you of sin, comforting you, and showing your more about your awesome God. 

You also have a Father in heaven who loves you enough to kill His perfect, righteous Son so that you too can be adopted into His family; He is the creator of the universe yet cares about the minute details of your life; He now sees you as righteous because you've confessed and forsaken your sin, clinging to Christ who died in your place; He looks at you and smiles lovingly at you, no matter how many times you fail. 

You also have Jesus Christ, who GAVE UP HIS LIFE for you and DIED IN YOUR PLACE. He left heaven, where He was worshiped by angels and had the ability to be with His Father to come down to earth; while here he was: born in a stable, forced to flee with His parents as a baby because the king wanted Him dead, the perfect brother (with unperfect siblings...imagine how they must have felt when compared to Him by their parents...probably weren't always nice to Him), and as an adult He was called drunk and a glutton, misunderstood by family and neighbors, didn't always have a place to rest His head, was considered blasphemous and hated by the leaders of Judaism, mocked, used for free food and free healing, mistreated by so many. That was before the end of His ministry. When that came, He: was betrayed by one of His 12 disciples and abandoned by the rest of them, suffered a great deal, knowing the wrath He would endure - enough that He literally sweat blood - also enough to almost kill Him. He was mocked, beaten, scourged, spit upon, had a crown of thorns rammed into His head, and was completely unrecognizable - BEFORE the cross. Also before the cross, He, the holy Son of God, was tried by wicked men and found blameless. But because of their fear of man, He was still killed. While on the cross, He (Son of God, also the King of kings and Lord of lords), humbled Himself to die the death of the common criminal - literally the most humiliating and most excruciatingly painful thing possible. Worst of all, the SINLESS Lamb was made to endure the wrath of God towards ALL sin that had ever been or would ever be committed by everyone. But He voluntarily did this - for you! Why? Because He loves us, and because He was obedient to His Father.

You have all of that. "Child of heaven, canst thou repine?" I looked up "repine" in my Webster's dictionary app. It is defined as "to feel or express dejection or discontent : complain." You have ALL of that, can you even complain about the small (or even big) things that you face in life? We really shouldn't. He is the reason we should not complain. He is the reason we have joy in all things.

Once again, my mother is right!

Lately I have really been convicted of my ungrateful heart and always complaining attitude. I say that I know I have everything I need and most of everything I want too. I can easily sing things about Christ being "more than enough", but do I always mean it? No. 

It's summer vacation for me (!!) now. But my last week of school and ever since, the weather has not acted summer-ish. It's been cold, cloudy and often rainy. Instead of enjoying some days of chilly weather right before the hot summer I know is coming begins, I complain. I wished that it was prettier so I could go to the beach during my last days in southern California. I wanted be able to tan every day when I first got home. Instead, God's had other plans for the weather. And we are called to rejoice and be thankful in every circumstance. Have I been doing that? Not really.

I didn't really see this as a problem, or as sin. I just knew what I wanted (sunny, gorgeous weather), saw that I didn't have it, and whined. Then yesterday I saw my mom's facebook status. It said, "I have not lost my home to earthquakes, a tsunami, a tornado, or flooding. So I will NOT whine about a few days of clouds and patchy drizzle...." Ouch. Even from 3,000 miles away she has reminded me of important truth. I am so blessed to have a home and have all of my belongings safe and dry. Not everyone has that right now. Nightly I read the news on my handy fox news app, and have seen article after article on the devastation in places like Mississippi. I haven't been faithful to pray for those people suffering, or even really been interested enough to care. Instead, I'd whined about not getting to sunbathe? It's so selfish.

I am so grateful for my mom who posted that and reminded so man people to not focus on and complain about our slightly disappointing circumstances when other have it so much worse.

Thanks Mom! :)

Journaling

Last summer, between my freshman and sophomore year of college, was definitely a time of growth for me. It was a summer full of fun things, but was still hard at times too. That was part of the reason I started this blog. I was learning a lot and wanted an outlet for it. Around that time (about halfway through the summer...I think?) I started reading Passion and Purity by Elizabeth Elliot. That book changed my life. There's no other way to put it. All single girls (and even married girls, or guys too) should read it, if you ask me. 

One of the things she wrote in her book, and another one I read by her since this summer (Keep a Quiet Heart), is that she strongly recommends every Christian keep a journal. She said it would be extremely beneficial, because you can go back and look at what you learned previously, so you can remember it later on. I took her advice, and began journaling when I learned something profound or heard a great message at church. Over Christmas break, it became a daily thing - I wrote when I read my Bible in the mornings. I still am pretty consistent with journaling (though it's not quite every day), and have really enjoyed it. Since I haven't posted a blog in a few weeks, I decided I would. I decided to go through my journal and write some of the things I have been learning this semester. It could be specific verses, quotes by godly men and women, things I learned from a sermon, encouraging conversations I had with friends, lines from songs, or random thoughts that are a result of the sum of all of these things...I really don't know what will end up here. So bear with me, and enjoy :)

January 15, 2011 - "Many Christians, myself included...thoughtlessly meander up to God as though He were a doting old grandfather in the sky, giving out grace as He would pass out chocolate chip cookies" - Joni Eareckson Tada, Seeking God.

January 16, 2011 - Deuteronomy 7:9-10 - "Know therefore that the Lord your God, He is God, the faithful God, who keeps His covenan and His lovingkindness to a thousandth generation with those who love Him and keep His commandments; but repays those who hate Him to their faces to destroy them; He will not delay with him who hates Him, He will repay him to his face."

January 22, 2011 - [not an exact quote] "Submission is not based on the worthiness of the person submitted to, but because of God's command" - Voddie Bauchum, Truth&Life Conference.

January 23, 2011 - "Come thou fount of every blessing, tune my heart to sing Thy grace" - Come Thou Fount, Robert Robinson

February 6, 2011 - "It's not about me. I don't need to take attention for myself - it's prideful. Pride and selfishness are sin. God hates them. Jesus had to die for them. He redeemed me, so that all the sin I commit would not reign over me. So take your focus off of self and put it on the only One who deserves it, who is 'beautiful beyond description' and 'too marvelous for words'". 

February 16, 2011 - "Nahum 3 is an even clearer, scarier picture of the destruction of Ninevah [than Nahum 2]. The heading of the chapter is 'Ninevah's Complete Ruin', and that is definitely what's described. This is an extremely vivid picture of God's wrath and justice. People who only focus on God's love need to read Nahum."

February 19, 2011 - Romans 2:4 - "...the kindness of God leads you to repentance."

March 3, 2011 - "Romans 13:2 - 'Therefore whoever resists authority has opposed the ordinance of God...' To resist authority is to be opposed to God's commands."

March 21, 2011 - "Thankful for the unconditional love and mercy of the Lord, as well as His protection and sovereign control over every situation."

March 23, 2011 - [Background: during this time, I was reading Esther. Again and again, I saw her humility.] Esther 3 talks about Haman's plot against the Jews. He was filled with so much hatred toward Mordecai that he wanted to destroy all of his people too, not just Mordecai. How much pride does it take to get that far? Pride needs to be dealt with or else it just grows. Proverbs 29:23, 'One man's pride will bring him low but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor.' (Haman is the first one, Esther is the second)." [Later in the book this happens, Haman is killed and Esther is honored.]

March 25, 2011 - "James 3:16 - 'For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.' - Haman shows this is true."

Always Forgiven

I love this song.

Always Forgiven by Sovereign Grace Music

I don't deserve to be Your servant
And how much less to be Your child
Anger and wrath, sure condemnation
Should be my portion, my just reward
Never have seen it, never will know it
Your lovingkindness, enfolds my life

All You have shown me is grace, love and mercy
Now and forever, I am Your child
Freely You pour out Your lovingkindness
Father of grace, You welcome me in

All of the sin I have committed
Was placed upon Your righteous Son
And now You see me through His perfection
As if I'd never done any wrong
Always forgiven, always accepted
No fear of judgment before Your throne.

All You have shown me is grace, love and mercy
Now and forever I am Your child
Freely You pour out Your lovingkindness
Father of grace You welcome me in


I was going through to find specific parts that meant a lot...but I would have ended up emphasizing more than not..it's all good - think about it!

Funny....

This post is more on a personal note, but I have a semi crazy story.
Very soon [freakishly soon] after writing my last post, my computer was stolen from my kitchen table.
It was quite an interesting situation. Very unnerving. But the Lord definitely showed His faithfulness and His goodness through the situation, and once again showed me He will provide for all my needs.

So, my computer was stolen Wednesday morning. By Saturday afternoon, God had provided the money for and I had purchased my new computer. My dad helped me pick it out, and it was a great computer for a great price! I was so grateful for the people who helped make it happen (my grandma and my dad) and for all of the people who were there for me.

It was a stressful situation because I had spent hours working on a study guide for my earth science midterm (which was 50% of my grade) and it was lost, along with all my notes for that class. Also lost was history notes, including from the class day that none of my friends went to and were all relying on me for the notes. In addition to that, none of the music or pictures from this school year were backed up (though everything that was on there at the end of last summer was backed up). I was working on compiling a list of lines from hymns that were powerful, and often the hidden lines we sing without noticing. I had almost two pages of those, and added new ones all the time. That too is lost. I'm so bummed because I worked on that for months and was getting close to having enough to post on here.

But here's the thing - God is sovereign over the situation, even in lost documents that were an encouragement to me and potentially to others, too. I have to keep reminding myself of that. Yes, it still affects me and was/still is a huge hassle and bummer. But really, I do have so much to be grateful for - He was watching over and taking care of me throughout the situation, nothing else was taken, He answered prayers for a)finding a good computer and b)being able to afford it. Though it made my spring break...interesting (and made it very hard to answer quickly when people ask how my break was), I have so much to thank God for.

I just find it that all of this happened so soon after writing a post on prayer...I think the Lord was seriously trying to tell me something!

Bow the Knee

There are some times in life when everything just makes sense, and you know you are following the Lord's will in your life. And praise the Lord for His guidance and clarity in those times! So often, I find myself wishing things were that easy, because most of the time, things are not so clear-cut. Usually, I find myself needing to call on God and ask Him for wisdom, guidance, comfort, deliverance, patience, etc. I have been taught all my life that when things are tough or unclear, it may be because God wants to draw us to Himself so that we can become dependent on Him through prayer. Sometimes this is just head knowledge though. But the past couple days, I have seen such a lack in my prayer life, and I am learning once again that when I don't pray and ask God for help, I am basically telling Him I don't need His help. Which couldn't be further from the truth. I know I need it, it is just so easy to be lazy and just sit around doing other things rather than spending time on my knees.


This morning I was listening to a song that I first heard in high school. Will Gaulkin's evangelistic team came to our school for a spiritual emphasis week, which meant that we had chapel every day. His team ministered to us through solid preaching of the word and beautiful special music. Will's wife Christy is an incredibly gifted violinist and vocalist. She sang this song during one of those chapels, and it has stuck with me ever since. Here's first verse and chorus, please read (though I usually don't read song lyrics in blogs).


Bow the Knee
There are moments on our journey following the Lord
Where God illumines every step we take,
There are times when circumstances make perfect sense to us
As we try to understand each move He makes.
When the path grows dim 
And our questions have no answers, turn to Him.


Bow the knee
Trust the heart of your Father when the answer goes beyond what you can see.
Bow the knee
Lift your eyes toward heaven and believe the One who holds eternity.
And when you don't understand the purpose of His plan
In the presence of the King
Bow the knee.


I'm going to close with some quotes on prayer. I did not intend to include so many, but there were so many good ones I just had to force myself to stop. 
[if you want to read all of the ones I read, go to http://www.christian-prayer-quotes.christian-attorney.net/ -you won't regret it]


On discipline with prayer:
 - "Don’t pray when you feel like it. Have an appointment with the Lord and keep it. A man is powerful on his knees." Corrie ten Boom
- “Therefore, whether the desire for prayer is on you or not, get to your closet at the set time; shut yourself in with God; wait upon Him; seek His face; realize Him; pray.”  R. F. Horton
- "The men who have done the most for God in this world have been early on their knees. He who fritters away the early morning, its opportunity and freshness, in other pursuits than seeking God will make poor headway seeking Him the rest of the day. If God is not first in our thoughts and efforts in the morning, He will be in the last place the remainder of the day." E.M. Bounds


On personal benefits:
- "He who has learned to pray has learned the greatest secret of a holy and happy life."  William Law
- Prayer should not be regarded "as a duty which must be performed, but rather as a privilege to be enjoyed, a rare delight that is always revealing some new beauty."  E.M. Bounds
- “Time spent alone with God is not wasted.  It changes us; it changes our surroundings; and every Christian who would live the life that counts, and who would have power for service must take time to pray.”  M.E. Andross
- "Those persons who know the deep peace of God, the unfathomable peace that passeth all understanding, are always men and women of much prayer." R.A. Torrey


On temptation:
- "Prayer will make a man cease from sin, or sin will entice a man to cease from prayer."  John Bunyon
- "If the Christian does not allow prayer to drive sin out of his life, sin will drive prayer out of his life. Like light and darkness, the two cannot dwell together."  M.E. Andross


On Satan's feelings toward it:
- “The one concern of the devil is to keep Christians from praying.  He fears nothing from prayerless studies, prayerless work and prayerless religion. He laughs at our toil, mocks at our wisdom, but he trembles when we pray.”  Samuel Chadwick
- "Satan trembles when he sees the weakest Christian on his knees." William Cowper


On intercession:
- "Our prayer must not be self-centered. It must arise not only because we feel our own need as a burden we must lay upon God, but also because we are so bound up in love for our fellow men that we feel their need as acutely as our own. To make intercession for men is the most powerful and practical way in which we can express our love for them." John Calvin
- "If I could hear Christ praying for me in the next room, I would not fear a million enemies. Yet distance makes no difference. He is praying for me.” Robert Murray McCheyne

On the power of prayer:
- "...[the] power of prayer can never be overrated. They who cannot serve God by preaching need not regret. If a man can but pray he can do anything. He who knows how to overcome with God in prayer has Heaven and earth at his disposal." Charles H. Spurgeon
- "Prayer is weakness leaning on omnipotence."  W. S. Bowd


Other things to remember:

- "One should never initiate anything that he cannot saturate with prayer." Unknown.

- "We have to pray with our eyes on God, not on the difficulties." Oswald Chambers
- “The trouble with nearly everybody who prays is that he says ‘Amen’ and runs away before God has a chance to reply. Listening to God is far more important than giving Him our ideas.” Frank Laubach
-"Prayer is not learned in a classroom but in the closet."  E. M. Bounds